Far too many of us think about dating and marriage as being all about “the spark.” A man looks into a woman’s eyes and he feels something. A woman glances at a man in a restaurant and her heart races. Some believe that this is how you find your spouse. You have to feel the… Continue reading Marriage: When You Refuse to Settle for the Shallow
Category: Marriage
5 Minutes After You Crash
Years ago, I met a friend from out of town at our local Starbucks. We got our coffees, sat down at a table and began to catch up. At one point, my friend said, “It sure is sad about ______. I can’t believe he would get involved with another woman.” I was stunned. I had… Continue reading 5 Minutes After You Crash
“I Was Just Kidding”
A regular stream of critical words has a way of taking the joy out of a marriage. A marriage in which a husband and wife regularly criticizes one another can feel like you are being nibbled to death by a duck. Sometimes we will level a criticism toward our spouse followed by the words, “I… Continue reading “I Was Just Kidding”
5 Ways to Avoid Killing Your Marriage
1. Put some energy and intentionality into this marriage! Some people put more energy into creating their college basketball tournament bracket each year than they do their marriage. Being passive, while sitting in your emotional recliner, will bring a slow death to a marriage that could have been so much more. Think of what you… Continue reading 5 Ways to Avoid Killing Your Marriage
Avoid These 6 Enemies of Marriage
The following are enemies of marriage. They have a way of chipping away and even poisoning a marriage. Run from these enemies! Bitterness Bitterness has a way of souring most any situation and most any day. A bitter person can take seemingly innocent remarks and find something devious and sinister. Bitterness is a poison that… Continue reading Avoid These 6 Enemies of Marriage
Eleven Things Married People Need to Know
1. We have been married for almost 39 years. There is no magic formula. Much of marriage is about a committed friendship that a man and woman have with one another. Marriage may be more than simply a friendship but it is at least that. It is building a history of friendship together. It is… Continue reading Eleven Things Married People Need to Know
When Men Leave Emotionally
What does a man do with pain? Many men simply leave. No, they don’t necessarily leave physically. Rather, they leave emotionally. I recently heard a friend of mine talk about this as he reflected upon a very difficult time in his life. I could identify. Many men have learned that the safest place to take one’s… Continue reading When Men Leave Emotionally
The Charmer, the Bully, and the Church
Some secrets need to be exposed. One of those secrets exists in families where the husband/father is a narcissistic man. During thirty six years of congregational ministry, I noticed that occasionally a certain kind of man would emerge who could be quite a problem for others. This person had a view of himself that was… Continue reading The Charmer, the Bully, and the Church
Marriage: Maybe It Was Meant to Kill You
If you’ve been married for any length of time, you may have occasionally thought, “This marriage is going to kill me yet!” After all, marriage certainly isn’t easy. In fact, there may be seasons when the joy is scarce and the energy required is huge. One thing is for certain. Marriage is for grown-ups. It… Continue reading Marriage: Maybe It Was Meant to Kill You
4 Ways to Take Pressure Off Your Marriage
Marriage can be challenging. Yet, sometimes we put additional pressure on ourselves by taking on responsibilities that are not ours. For example: You are not responsible for your spouse’s moods. Some men and women are very emotionally immature. Some are moody and emotionally manipulative. These people may even blame their emotional moods on their spouse.… Continue reading 4 Ways to Take Pressure Off Your Marriage