This week, why not consider one of the most powerful ways of loving someone?
Just Show Up
I am thinking right now about friendships. People you would say are your friends. People who might see you as a friend. Friends show up for one another.
We might show up at funerals.
We might show up at weddings.
We might show up at special birthday parties.
We might show up at the hospital.
We might show up when our friend is being recognized or receiving a special award.
There is something to be said for just showing up. Being present. Being fully engaged.
My mother-in-law modeled this throughout our children’s high school years. She lives in Alabama. We live in Texas. Yet, once a year she would manage to come to our home during the school year. She would go to the games and other special events with us. She would meet my daughter’s friends. When she was here, she was present and fully engaged in the world of my girls.
Through the years we have gone to our nieces and nephews graduations (several of them live about an hour and a half from here). My wife has gone to wedding showers for the nieces. All of this is important. Just showing up.
Friends are no different. It is important to show up for occasions that are meaningful or important in some way to our friends. Can you show up for everything? Of course not. Showing up for the ball game of a friend’s child eliminates the possibility of showing up for something else that evening. The other night we went to a friend’s wedding in Abilene, Texas. Being there eliminated the possibility of showing up for anything else that concerned a friend. You have to pick and choose. And, it may be more important to show up for some occasions than for others.
A few years ago, our youngest daughter was in the hospital for several days. She was severely dehydrated. We were very concerned because of the severity of the dehydration. Within a few hours, a friend of ours showed up at the hospital. He softly knocked on Jamie’s hospital room door and I opened it. He motioned for me to come out into the hall. As I stepped into the hall, he put his arm around my shoulder and softly prayed a brief prayer for Jamie’s health. Each day he called, leaving messages on my cell phone. The night before she was released, he and his wife came by bringing presents for her. What did he do?
He showed up.
This week you might think about showing your love to a friend or family member by showing up. I will be thinking about this as well. I really think this matters.
What do you think?
I like the simplicity of this…
And, if we can’t show up enough, it might be a clue that we have too many surface relationships to take care of. I admit that a few years ago, I decided to narrow my focus to a few select relationships, and this has made life less frenetic, more fulfilling.
For social obligations, my spouse and I take turns “showing up.” This also helps with our rhythm of life.
Jim, Great thoughts. You’re absolutely right. This is what God would have us to do….show up. He will supply the details.
I think that is especially true of funerals. When my parents died (16 years apart), I fully realized the gift of presence. You were in Florida at our church the weekend we had to leave to be with my family through Dad’s dying and funeral and I remember vividly you walking into the funeral home later in the week.
Thanks L.L.,Good point regarding the possiblity of too many surface relationships to take care of.(Went to your website. (www.llbarkat.com) Very nice! I will be back to look around.
Steve,Thanks for this comment. Thanks also for the very encouraging e-mail today.
Greg,I remember that. I remember very fondly being in Florida with you. You are very thoughtful to even bring up my coming to the funeral home.Thanks. I am blessed by your friendship.