Tip of the Week
- Published
- in Spiritual Life
Quickly put people at ease by laughing at yourself.
I love to be around people who laugh at themselves. These people don’t mind telling you stories about silly things they have done. They can tell stories on themselves and enjoy the laughter of other people. They have a way of putting others around them at ease. I feel so comfortable around such people.
Why do I mention this? Because sometime I do silly things as well. In fact, I can tell you stories about the many times I have misplaced my keys. I have lost my keys at the meat counter at the grocery store. I once lost them in the Dean’s office in graduate school. At a Hardee’s in Atlanta, I once put them on a tray along with my trash from breakfast and then accidentally tossed them into the trash can. I then had to put my arm into the trash can and fish them out. Why do I tell this? It is just part of being human. We do silly things at times.
Yet, there are people I don’t feel comfortable with. I don’t tease them or use very much humor. I don’t feel at ease around them. They take themselves far too seriously for that. I recall once watching a friend trying to playfully tease such a person. The guy got tense and then shot back some sort of barb. It was an awkward moment. I think my friend learned that the other guy is very self-conscious and takes himself very seriously. I doubt that he was playful with the guy again.
Again, put others at ease by laughing at yourself. I’ve taught classes before where I have said something incorrect. Maybe I got a Bible reference wrong. Maybe I passed out class notes and made an error in the notes. Perhaps someone caught the error and brought it to my attention. When this happens I try to smile and say something like: "Thanks for this. I need all the help I can get." Such a statement has a way of putting others at ease.
This is just a suggestion. But why not give it some thought this week?
Jim, I love it when we can laugh at ourselves and cut up at work that way for much of a shift. Though we have gotten carried away.
What I’ve seen poison the air is when one makes light of others, but does so in a rude, disrespectful way because they don’t see eye to eye with the one or ones they are subtely or not so subtely making light of. Unfortunately I’ve seen this put a damper on things, and a hurt on people.
But very good post and point. We need to laugh at ourselves, because we really are all funny at times. Because we’re so fallible, and besides, we all need some good laughs regularly, along the way. Thanks, Jim.
Jim:You are so right. I find that people who can laugh at themselves have a large measure of self-confidence.
One of the many reasons I like you!
Great advice, Jim! As someone has said, "Take your job seriously and yourself lightly!" 🙂
Oh, keys in the trash can… What slimy fun. I did laugh when I read it! (And now I know who I can hire when my kids drop something in … never mind. 🙂
If I did not laugh at myself, I would miss great opportunities for humor! I often will turn a joke at my expense in my preaching … and it drives the people here in California nuts (another reason to do it). Many in this culture are so hung up on themselves and their self esteem they just can’t understand why I think so little of myself. They don’t understand it takes a healthy self esteem to laught at yourself and really mean it!
Yes, Jim. You are so right. Sometimes I get my tongue wrapped around my eye teeth and can’t see what I’m saying. Some of the "funniest" things I’ve said have come at times like this. The people with whom I sharee a close relationship get a good belly laugh out of these flubs. Others sit with their fingers pressed to their lips and snicker. When it dawns on me what I’ve done and laugh at myself, it’s sort of like giving them "permission" to do the same. I once read that Victor Borge said that laughter is the closest distance between two people. I think he was correct.
Thanks so much, Connie, Allan, Ted, and TracyOne of the most productive people I know regularly says, "Keep it fun!" He typically does this by laughing at himself.
L.L.– See what great use this blog is for you? Now you know where to come when your kids put whatever in the trash.(I do remember that being pretty yucky!)
Greg,Your comment was interesting. So many see your laughter at yourself as being down on yourself? Hmmm. I guess I would call that "freedom." To know that when you when you do something silly that you can laugh is very freeing.
Bill,Thanks for that quote. I am not familiar with it. Maybe that is why an evening spent laughing with good friends can draw you closer.
Thanks for the encouragement to laugh at ourselves. For some of us- like me- it is not a difficult job. I am glad I serve a God with a sense of humor!
Thanks Danny–I too am glad God has a sense of humor. 🙂
Just yesterday I had an incredible lunch with four other men from our church. We talked and laughed and goofed around for nearly an hour. It was apparently just over an hour, because when four of us returned to my car we arrived just in time to see our friendly neighborhood parking patrol slip a $25 ticket under my windshield wiper for an expired parking meter. The mood in the other guys fell instantly. I thought it was humorous, laughed and said that I suppose I’d pay closer attention next time and that I really didn’t pay enough taxes since I have three kids in the public school system. I really feel that not being able to laugh at it would have killed the energy that a wonderful time of fellowship and love produced.Now, what I do worry about is those who use humor and laughter as a way to avoid intimacy or confrontation. Sure, it can diffuse a situation, but if true authenticity isn’t being achieved the effects of the laughter can be as harmful to building relationship as the negativity it is designed to replace.
Brad,Thanks for the comment. You are so right–people can use humor to hide behind. I knew a person once who would turn any conversation that gets "too personal" into humor. She would do anything to avoid having to deal with something painful or expose her wounds.