Children, God, and Becoming Closer
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- in Family, My Family, Spiritual Life
Okay, I just lost my last teenager. No longer nineteen but twenty! Twenty years old! So now I am the father to two women. I know. You are probably saying, "Hey, nineteen is really not a teenager. She has been in college for two years." You are right. Maybe I just liked the sound of "nineteen." To say "twenty" sounds very adult. But then, I guess that is what she is. That’s really okay. I am incredibly proud of her and her sister.
I have learned so much through being a father. I’ve learned much about patience, perseverance, and the need to practice both giving and receiving forgiveness. Both of my daughters live away from "home." Yet, I try to stay very aware of what they are doing in their lives. Just as important, I try to stay connected with their hearts.
I suspect there is no other human relationship that teaches us more about our relationship with God than that of a child and her parent. My own children, through our relationship as father-daughters, have taught me much.
A. W. Tozer wrote:
To speak of being near to or far away from God is to use language in a sense always understood when applied to our ordinary human relationships. A man may say, "I feel that my son is coming nearer to me as he gets older," and yet that son has lived by his father’s side since he was born and has never been away from home more than a day or so in his entire life. What then can the father mean? Obviously he is speaking of experience. He means that the boy is coming to know him more intimately and with deeper understanding, that the barriers of thought and feeling between the two are disappearing, that father and son are becoming more closely united in mind and heart.
So when we sing, "Draw me nearer, nearer, nearer blessed Lord," we are not thinking of nearness of place, but the nearness of relationship. It is for increasing degrees of awareness that we pray, for a more perfect consciousness of the Divine Presence. We need never shout across the spaces to an absent God. He is nearer than our own soul, closer than our most secret thoughts.
(Tozer, The Pursuit of God, pp. 61-62)
My daughter is 23 almost 24. I love it that she comes to me more now for guidance or advice…It is harder than I thought it would be…When she was younger I thought I knew…Now, when she asks, I sometimes say, "I don’t know, or I wish I knew, or I wish I could say something that would make it all better."
I turn to God more to help lead her towards God. I am not as smart or wise as I thought I was, when she didn’t want my advice…
Growing closer means trusting when you are farthest away… good word!
Wow! Twenty years! Hard to believe it’s been that long! My own sons are 23 and 27 now. At times, I catch myself longing for the days I had them right underfoot all the time. But, then I refocus on the advantages we have in relating more as adults, which is quite delightful, too. I just thank God that He made us as beings who can be in relationship with each other and with Him. Those relationships are what give life meaning and depth. Congratulations on helping Jamie successfully navigate those teenage years!
What a blessed gift you give your daughters by your investment. When I was in college, the most precious mail I received was from my father. While he was and is still not much of a writer/caller, our special time is walking an 8 mile stretch of beach when I visit. It’s our time to talk about deep things beyond the catch-up on the phone. It’s something I hold in my heart everyday and will only give up when he is too old to walk!
Jim, you wrote that you’ve learned a lot as the father of two women. If you were the only male in a household of four, you better learn something or you’re doomed! :)Congrats to your "youngest" … as much as I sometimes miss my "children" the relationship with them as adults is incredibly wonderful. As you well know.
Children. Mine have taught me so much, and they are still young. I can only imagine what yours have taught you.
Royal,Can I ever relate to your comment! I too find myself saying, "Well, I’m not sure. One way to look at it might be….." As you say, it is harder than I thought it would be.
DulceDiana,Thanks for your words. You are right.
Connie,Thanks! I wouldn’t go back though I have some wonderful memories of those early years.(Do you know I remember eating dinner in your home the night of Jamie’s birth. You had lasagna. I have no earthly idea why I remember that. 🙂
L.L.I look forward to hearing more of what you learn from your children through the years. You strike me as a very observant person and will probably see many things in yours that some of us might miss.
Jennifer,You must have a wonderful Dad. I suspect you have had many significant conversations on that 8 mile stretch of beach. What a blessing.
Greg,Exactly!! If I didn’t learn I would be doomed. Fortunately, they are patient. 🙂
How quickly time flies. All of mine are now teens and, Lord willing, later this year my eldest will cross into the "twentys." We are so blessed to be dads. It really helps me understand my relationship to God in a greater way.