41 Things Married People Ought to Know (Part 4)
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Please tell me what else needs to be included.
Over the last couple of weeks, I have shared 41 things that married people really ought to know. (See part 1 here, part 2 here, and part 3 here.) Some of these come from my own experience of being married for many years. Others on this list come from observing the marriages of others. This is not meant to be an exhaustive list. Perhaps this will be helpful as you form your own list.
32. If a couple pursues peace and chooses love over self-centeredness, they can work through almost any issue. If a couple is at war, most any issue can be a point of contention.
33. A couple can bless one another by creating a home atmosphere that is pleasant, inviting and warm. They will look forward to coming home after a long day at work.
34. A person with a demanding spirit often pushes his or her spouse away. Far too many people enter marriage determined that certain behaviors are not going to change. Consequently, that spouse continues to watch nonstop ball games, hunt every weekend, or shop every weekend.
35. Look for the good in another. Too many of us focus on the negative and the shortcomings we see in one another.
36. I can add something positive to the environment of my home by being pleasant and enjoyable to be around. When I am negative, pessimistic, and constantly griping, I am like a gray, dark cloud casting a shadow over the day.
37. Being hard on your spouse may produce the desired effect — for a time. In other words, you may get your way, thought, being demanding and overbearing often creates deep resentment and anger. Most of all, such attitudes do not create internal change.
38. Most of us would do well to think before we speak. There is no real merit in allowing every fleeting thought to come out of your mouth. Please don’t say, “I was just being honest.” Even honest speech needs discerning.
39. Every married human being is married to a sinner. A person can never meet the deepest needs of his/her spouse. Only God is capable of bringing completeness to a human being’s life.
40. Remember that you are married to God’s daughter or son. You know how you feel when someone mistreats one of your children. You also know how you feel when someone has been a blessing to one of your children. Think about how God might feel as he sees how you treat his child. What does he see in your house?
41. Every good moment you experience in your marriage is a gift of God. Don’t act as if you deserve these moments. Don’t act as if you are entitled. Christians understand that we are totally dependent on God’s grace. It is out of that grace that we have air, food, and, yes, the good moments of marriage.
Question
What would you include in this list that has not been covered in this series?
Excellent list of 41 points! That pretty much covers it all! What a blessing and joy to have a marriage which the Lord has put together and no one has severed!
Karin, thank you very much. Yes, marriage can be a real joy.
What a great list. I’ve been married nearly 40 years, but learned some valuable lessons from this list.
1) Some say their marriage is incomplete because they have little in common… but couples who share Christ have everything in common.
2) Marriage is not 50/50, it is both giving 100%
Guy, one more I would add based on your very good comment. You have been married 40 years and yet still continue to learn. Wow! Now that is very important. Married people ought to always be learning and growing in their marriage.
I appreciate this series very much, for me (married 31 years) and also for single female friends of a certain age – some who still wish to be married and some who are running from it.
I will be going over this list on a regular basis.
Thank you so much
Deborah, thanks for the kind words about the series. I am glad that you not only found the list helpful but you think it might be helpful to some friends as well. Hope you will comment again sometime.