Tag: Ministry

Ministry Inside.71

What is this going to cost?PickBattles.jpg

I have a limited amount of money. It does not expand beyond my paycheck each month. Therefore I need to live within our budget and think about what I purchase. After all, if I purchase something today, I may not have the money to purchase something else tomorrow. There is a limit to my financial resources.

Good leaders pick their battles. Others seem to enjoy picking a fight. Yet, not every hill is worth dying on. You can go to battle over an opinion, a preference, or a concern today, but this may have implications for tomorrow. Be sure the battle is worth it. Far too many battles have been rooted in someone’s pride instead of a worthy cause. Consider whether or not this cause is important to Jesus.

Four suggestions:

1. Before going to battle for something, make sure the hill is worth it. Check with several wise people to get their feedback. You may not hear what you wanted to hear, but this will help your thought process. Far too many people are impulsive and rash in what they do. These leaders have a way of wearing people out. If you wear people out today, they may not have the energy for a much greater cause next month.

2. Remember that good will is not given to a leader in an infinite quantity. Churches will give a leader good will and the benefit of the doubt if they think that leader has earned it. However, one generally has only so much good will at his/her disposal.

3. Persistence and perseverance are great qualities. Some people see themselves as being persistent when it fact they are perceived as being obstinate, bullheaded, stubborn, and difficult. These qualities have a way of wearing others out. Consequently, you may wonder why others do not have the interest, much less the passion, about a new concern. They may be exhausted.

4. Be upfront genuine and avoid manipulation. A church leader once told me about something that he wanted to do in his congregation. He said that went ahead and did it without going through the proper channels. His explanation? “It is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.” That is nothing less than a manipulative ploy. That is a good way to damage one’s credibility and wear out one’s welcome.

Ministry Inside.70

Most Thursdays I write a post especially for church leaders. If you are a pastor, preacher, elder, or simply engaged in some kind of ministry in your congregation, you may find this helpful.

1. You might enjoy Gordon MacDonald’s presentations from Bethel University. MacDonald is the author of a number of books and has been in ministry for years. He is the chancellor of Denver Seminary. Two of his recent presentations can be found here (number 2 and 3) in iTunes. These presentations are in the series “Improving Your Impact.” He is particularly useful to me in providing pastoral wisdom.
2. Are you familiar with Day1.org? This is primarily a preaching site-some good interviews, podcasts, etc. I first became aware of this site through some excellent interviews that I heard.coffee38.jpg

3. One of the most difficult moments for a minister is conducting the funeral of a child or young person. These are some of the most difficult funerals that I preach. It is also difficult to grieve with the family during this time, and later. Mike Cope has written a very fine series on his blog entitled “When a Child Dies.” This series is very valuable for anyone who wants to have a better feel for what families go through during these horrific times. You can read the first post here.

4. You might want to read the recent post I wrote: “Church Leaders Can Become Depressed?“ Some people might be amazed that many church leaders (in a variety of roles) may struggle with depression. I do not believe that we say enough about this. You might find this helpful.

  

One Question Every Church Leader Should Ask

What is it like to be someone else in your church?people3.jpg

I’m convinced that some people never wonder. These are the people who sometimes make awkward statements to others. These are the people who sometimes sound smug as they talk about people who have various problems. They seem to have no appreciation for how tough life has become for some people.

My friend sat in an assembly one Sunday morning. The minister began his sermon by referring to his “extraordinarily difficult week.” Then he explained that he had a fender-bender in a car last week. He went on to talk about trials and tribulations that people face.

Meanwhile, my friend listened, amazed that he would talk about a fender-bender using language like “trial and tribulation.” After all, for the last several months, my friend had spent his days sitting beside his wife’s hospital bed while she was dying of cancer. That morning, he left her bedside to be a part of this assembly. My friend decided this preacher really had no idea what it was like to sit beside the bed of a loved one and watch her die.

John Killinger, in one of his books, suggested that ministers need to realize that people in churches find themselves in a variety of circumstances on any given Sunday morning. He suggested an exercise in which a minister reflects on some of these situations. (Actually, this exercise would probably be useful for anyone.)

What would it be like to:

  • Have just experienced divorce?
  • Have an adult child in jail?

  • Be living on government assistance?


  • Be a new parent for the first time?


  • Have just learned you have cancer?


  • Know you are having major surgery tomorrow?


  • Be told by your wife, “I’m moving out. I’ve found someone else I love.”

  • Be told by your employer, “We won’t be needing you anymore.”

  • Live alone for many years?


  • Live in an abusive home?


  • Be single?


  • Want children and yet be unable to have children?


  • Face a move to a new community in a state where you’ve never been?


  • Experience severe depression?


  • Realize you are in serious trouble financially?


  • Grieve over your mother’s death?


  • Feel old and useless?

  • Care for aged parents while you try to be attentive to your children and grandchildren?

What thoughts, feelings, experiences, names, situations, places, etc. come to mind? There are times when I ask myself as I prepare to teach or preach, “How would a person in one of these situations hear this message?”  

Far too often, we see life only from our point of view.

Perhaps there are some people whom I will never totally be able to identify with. However, I can try. I can at least ask the questions. I can consider what it might be like to be another.   


Question:

What can church leaders do that might help them better understand the experiences of the people they interact with?

The Power of Planned Neglect

In her book A Practical Guide to Prayer, Dorothy Haskin tells about a noted concert violinist who was asked about how she mastered this instrument. The violinist answered the question with these two words:

“Planned neglect.”

Then she explained.  

There were many things that used to demand my time. When I went to my room after breakfast, I made my bed, straightened the room, dusted, and did whatever seemed necessary. When I finished my work, I turned to my violin practice. That system prevented me from accomplishing what I should on the violin. So I reversed things. I deliberately planned to neglect everything else until my practice period was complete. And that program of planned neglect is the secret of my success.

Today, what do I need to neglect for something more important?

Yesterday when I got to the office, I immediately began to work on a project that is very important to me in my ministry. Unfortunately this is also something that I put off for two weeks. Oh, it was on my to do list. In fact, I had it prioritized. However, each day I pushed it back to the end of the day until I had taken care of other matters that were on my list.

The other day I realized that I still had made no progress on this project after intending to take care of it two weeks ago. I needed to practice planned neglect.

What do you need to neglect until you get an important project or task done?

Maybe you need to practice planned neglect.

Do any of the following statements connect with you?

  • What if I planned to neglect reading the news until I have read my Bible?
  • What if I planned to neglect checking my e-mail so often? Do I really need to check this several times each hour?
  • What if I planned to neglect texting so often so I could spend more time with my eyes looking at people instead of the screen?
  • What if I planned to neglect turning on the television so that we could enjoy being a family without constant noise?
  • What if I planned to neglect Facebook until I have first looked into the faces of my spouse and children?
  • What if I planned to neglect sitting in my recliner until I have first exercised my body?

Today, what do you need to neglect, so that you can do what is really important?

Ministry Inside.69

1. coffee1.jpg Invest the good will that is given to you by the congregation. Don’t waste it. Another way of saying this is, “You only have so much good will to spend in a church. Don’t waste it.” Not everything is worth an argument or a fight. I have known a few ministers who just wear their congregations out with their willfulness. They seem to insist on their way about most everything. Consequently they have difficulty letting anything go that is not in line with what they want.

The truth is that most ministers are given some good will by their congregations. Why spend this on matters that are inconsequential? Far better to use this good will on issues and concerns that really do count for something. Why go toe-to-toe with someone over the kind of carpet to put down in the classroom areas? It could be that it will cost you more than it is worth. It is better to reserve such discussions for matters that relate to kingdom issues and what is important to God.

Some ministers waste their good will through ill-timed or unwise humor. Suppose you move to a congregation that includes a sizable fan base of the university that is a couple of hours away. So within a few weeks, you announce that you are a fan of one of their biggest rivals. You talk up your team (taking advantage of your public position to do so). Now, within a matter of weeks, you have communicated to this church that you don’t like the school they root for and you don’t mind rubbing it in regarding one of their biggest rivals. That minister might want to think about how he might be spending some of his good will. Is this really smart?

It might be wiser to look for ways to affirm the lifestyles of this church family, instead of immediately announcing that you are different. Is this a big deal? Probably not in the larger scheme of things. However, you may be unnecessarily irritating. So, the next time you mess up or mishandle something, they might not have very much good will to offer you because you have already needlessly spent what you have been given.

2. Consider your behavior. She came up to me after church a few weeks ago. She and her husband are outgoing, friendly people who are quick to engage most anyone. They have two small children. She and her family moved into a new house a few months ago. She would like to meet her next-door neighbor, the pastor of a large church in the area. That morning she asked me “Do you know the guy who is the pastor of the (blank) Church?” I told her that I did not. I had shaken hands with him once, some years ago, but I couldn’t say I knew him.

She said, “I can’t get him to talk with me. I just want to meet him and his family. Friends of ours who go to his church say that he seems to be a nice guy.” (These are friends, however, who primarily perceive this through his sermons. They don’t actually know him.) She went on to tell me of several more times when they attempted to get his attention by waving as he backed down the drive. “He acts like he has no interest in getting to know us.”

I wonder why ministers sometimes do this? Often, we work very hard to get a particular ministry in place. We may be very intentional about wanting our congregations to be friendly toward guests. Then, in the ordinary moments of life, we don’t practice the behavior we encourage others to practice.

I was glad she told me this story. It reminded me to look at myself.

They Don’t Pay You What You Are Worth

Finally, I received the call. work-in-progress.jpg

I was in my last semester of seminary and was hoping that we would soon have the opportunity to begin a ministry with a congregation. After some anxious moments, a congregation finally called and asked me to come work as its preacher.

The voice on the other end of the line said, “Jim, we would like to invite you to come work with our congregation. We really believe that you and Charlotte are just right for us. We do have one question.” His tone was serious. I wondered what this question might be.

“Jim, how little would it take to get you here? We don’t have much money.”

Now that was awkward!

“How little would it take to get you here?”

The truth is that some of the most significant work is done by people who will never be adequately compensated financially. Some of this work is done by social workers, public school teachers, and ministers of small churches. Yet far too often, we assume that people who are highly paid are more significant than others and worthy of special attention.

Some of the most valuable work is done by people who are making a real difference in people’s lives and yet paid very little. In the last week, I have talked with the following people who are making such a difference.

*A public school teacher – We have many school teachers in my family. Charlotte has taught school for over 25 years. My mother-in-law, grandmother, and an aunt taught school. School teachers are in a position to make a lasting difference in the lives of children. So many of us can look back and remember teachers whose role were critical in our lives.

*A social worker – These people often do difficult, intense work with families in dire situations. These people are often very significant in the lives of the poor and forgotten.

*A minister of a small congregation – These ministers often find themselves overwhelmed by the needs and opportunities of pastoral ministry. After all, there is no church staff to help with members needs. Very often (though not always), those who minister to these churches are young and inexperienced. This alone makes the situation even more challenging. These ministers are sometimes forced to find a part-time job to supplement their income.

Of course there are many other occupations in which people work hard and make a real difference but are paid very little.

If you work in such settings, you may find yourself feeling wistful when you hear that your college friend has been promoted and is now making over $120,000 per year. It’s not that you wish she were not succeeding at her job; rather, it may remind you about how much you feel devalued or taken for granted in your own job. Far too often, teachers, social workers, ministers and others do not feel valued in their work.

You may find the following suggestions to be helpful:

Work like it matters. Do this whether anyone else recognizes the worth of your work. Your work has intrinsic value. When you do something that in some way reflects God’s goodness or his character, you are a part of an incredibly valuable work.

Forget the ladder. Making a difference usually has more to do with what you’ve done on the ground than your position up the ladder. The value of your work is not determined by how high up the ladder you’ve climbed. When you are tempted to think about that ladder, know that your work matters in ways that may never be recognized or appreciated. (Ministers will sometimes play one-up-manship games based on church size, salary, perceived importance, etc.)

Be intentional about investing. Invest your time, energy, and mind in what matters. Does your work promote kingdom values? Does your work bless people? Does your work help someone move toward God? God can use our work to expand the kingdom.

Question:

How do you stay motivated in your work during seasons when you feel taken for granted or devalued?

Do What You Can and Not What You Can’t

Last Friday and Saturday, Charlotte and I heard author James Bryan Smith speak at the Apprentice Basic Conference. At one point on Saturday, as he discussed ministry, he said:

Do what you can and not what you can’t.

The statement was made encouraging all of us to not be preoccupied with what we are unable to do but to focus on what we are able to do. He went on to repeat the essence of the statement by saying, “Start with what you can do.”

The Failure of Self-limitation

For years I focused on what I was unprepared or unable to do. I often concluded that I was lacking in knowledge, skill, or expertise. Quite often I compared myself to others and perceived myself to be lacking.

As a result, I severely limited myself and, more importantly, gave myself a pass from some opportunities to make a difference. Finally, I realized that the problem was not my preparation but my thinking.

Start with What You Can Do.

A few years ago, I was speaking on the campus of Oklahoma Christian University. At one point, I saw my longtime friend, Dr. Evertt Huffard, sitting on the back row. Evertt is dean of Harding School of Theology and a person I greatly respect. As we were visiting later, Evertt asked me about my ministry and any plans I had to do something different. I responded by saying to him, “I wonder what I will be doing someday.” Evertt paused and then said, “Jim, think about our ages. I think someday is here.” Was that ever helpful!

Someday is here.

So here are a few suggestions for making the most of opportunities that may be before us.

1. Quit comparing yourself to others who seem more qualified and prepared.

2. Focus on how you are already prepared to serve right now.

3. Continue to learn, while you continue to serve.

4. Start now. Someday is here.


Questions:

Have you ever found yourself waiting for someday? What would it take for you to begin right now?

Charles Siburt

Charles Siburt has been a friend and mentor to me for almost 25 years. I have learned so much from him. I am a much better man and minister for having known him.

Siburt_creative_serv_thumb[1] (1).jpg

For many years he taught ministry at Abilene Christian University. His teaching went way beyond the classroom. Charles spent time and energy helping ministers and other church leaders all over the country.

He is very sick and is not expected to live on this earth much longer. He has recently been transported from a hospital in Dallas to a hospital in Abilene. Soon he will be with the Lord.

My friend, Dan Bouchelle, wrote the following:On behalf of all of us who love Charlie, I invite you to join several of us who love the Siburts by setting aside this Friday, February 3, as a special day of prayer with fasting if you choose. Please lift up Charlie’s body, his spirit, and his family to the Father of all compassion. Judy and his sons have sacrificed time with Charlie for the sake of the church for many years. Pray that their final days with him in this age will be enriching. Pray that God will give Charlie courage for his final days and a peaceful trip home. Pray that he will be able to leave the hospital for his final days. Most of all, give thanks for all that God has given us all through Charlie. Pray that God will raise up an Elisha or twelve to pick up Charlie’s mantle. What will we do without him?

Charles and Judy have blessed so many men and women. Charles served as a consultant and friend to the congregations I worked with in Florence, Alabama, Kansas City, Missouri, and Waco, Texas. Each time he helped our leaders become more effective and at times work through knotty problems. I have called him at all hours of the day and evening to talk through frustrations, disappointments and new possibilities. Again and again, Charles helped me become better.

The following are a few of the ways he helped me:

1. He was one of the first ministers to introduce me to serious, thoughtful ministry resources. At one of the very first Austin Graduate School Sermon Seminars, I heard him share resources with the group. (I was in graduate school at ACU.) I was furiously taking notes as he mentioned authors, commentaries, journals, and training opportunities – related to ministry. I went back to ACU and followed up on as many resources as I could.

2. He taught me about the importance of managing myself well. I have spent the last three decades learning about the implications of this. It was Charles Siburt who instilled in me the importance of self-care and being intentional about how I handle myself as a leader.

3. He helped me in each congregation I have served. Each time he came, he helped our church and blessed Charlotte and me.

4.   He told me again and again, in a variety of way is how much he believed in me. I can’t begin to tell you how much his confidence in me has meant. He recommended me to churches and universities and gave me other opportunities to serve. There were times when I called him when I felt discouraged and devalued. He always communicated value, encouragement, and hope.

5. He made himself available and accessible to me. He returned my calls from airports, his office, hotel rooms, and during breaks at out of town conferences. We shared lunches and met in his office on various occasions. The time and energy he invested in me made a difference. So often his words gave me fresh options and a new perspective. What I experienced with him, I now practice with younger ministers.

6. He helped me see the importance of paying attention to the details of others’ lives. So often, I came away from conversations with him amazed at how well he remembered details – children’s names, where they went to college – where an elder worked, on and on. I saw how that practice communicated much to others.

7. He modeled for me a way of being a father. Year ago, I was in his office when he received a call from Judy. He asked about one of the boys and a situation at school (high school, I think). He asked about the situation and mentioned a variety of details related to it. He talked for a moment about how their son was handling it. I came away thinking about how I wanted to be involved and aware like that still when my daughters were that age.

Please especially pray for Charles and Judy on Friday, February 3. For more information, please see this fine post by Dan Bouchelle here. Read Jordan Hubbard’s tribute here. Also note this special Facebook page for Charles and Judy here.

Ministry Inside.68


Does something need to be done? Write it down. Put it on paper, your iPhone, or your iPad. But write it down.

writeitdown.jpg

That may seem obvious, but many people don’t do this.

Most Thursdays I write this post for church leaders. I am amazed at how many church leaders do not write things down. Think about what happens on a typical Sunday. I learned a long time ago that I need to write this information down or I will not remember half of what was said to me.

  • You meet a new family.
  • Someone asks you to pray for their dad.
  • A person recommends a book.
  • Someone else asks if you can meet for coffee.
  • A woman introduces you to her co-worker.

This is a lot of information to attempt to remember without writing it down.

For years, I used a form of Franklin-Covey to help me keep track of tasks, etc. This particular system helped remind me that much of life involved a number of different roles (father, husband, minister, friend, community member, etc.). Not only did I need some sort of “to do” list for work but for the other roles in my life as well.

For the last few years, I have been using a form of David Allen’s Getting Things Done. I am not going to attempt to explain this system in a post. However, I do want to mention a few principles that have been helpful to me.

1. Write down whatever tasks need to be done. (See Michael Hyatt’s excellent post, “When You Feel Overwhelmed By Your Workload.” He has excellent thoughts concerning priorities.)

2. If a task actually has several steps, see it as a project. For example, if you are helping put together an event at your church or in your community, think of all the tasks involved in pulling off that event. (I have a list of each project I am working on and the key tasks involved in making that project a reality.)

3. Beside my list of projects is a list of broken down into specific categories (e-mails, notes, calls, errands, etc.). In other words, all of the phone calls I need to make are under the “Calls” heading. Right now, I have a list of about 15 e-mails that need to be sent. I will probably do most of these in one block of time. This may sound obvious, but it can keep you from bouncing from one task to another throughout the day.

4. While all of this is online (I use Google Calendar, Things, and Evernote primarily), I keep a paper copy of each day’s to do list, as well as my weekly priorities, on my desk in front of me.

5. At the end of the week, I review all of my projects and the list of tasks. What has been done this week? What have I missed? What needs to be done next week? Does this ever help! This helps prevent things from “slipping up” on me. It also prevents other things from slipping through the cracks.

(Those of you familiar with David Allen’s Getting Things Done know I have not done it justice. You can read more about this at David Allen’s website.)

Bottom line: Use what works for you. There is no perfect system. However, an imperfect system is usually better than no system at all.

You Can’t Make These Stories Up (Race, Jesus, and Our Identity)

They were an African-American family who visited our congregation one morning in the early 1980s. Race.jpg

Ordinary folks.

I remember them as being a pleasant family that included dad, mother, and four children.

Yet, this would not be an ordinary day for our congregation located in a small town an hour south of Nashville. For the most part, our congregation was made up of wonderful people including: Dennon, Joy, J.W., Jimmy, Charlie, Ted and Brenda, Byron and Brenda, and Mary. Yet, the day was overshadowed by one man who became angry that these people would visit our congregation. After our worship services concluded that morning, one man demanded that our men have a “business meeting” that afternoon.

This was a new situation for me. I was a young minister, newly married, and preaching at this small congregation. This middle Tennessee church situation seemed like a another world for me. Less than three years earlier, I had graduated from the University of North Texas and was working full time at United Parcel Service.

Here we were, a group of men sitting in a small room in our rented storefront. Less than two hours earlier, we were partaking of the Lord’s Supper. Now this man, flanked by his two teenage sons, was ranting about this family visiting that morning.

“My boys may have to go to school with them, but we don’t have to go to church with them!”

I was stunned. I felt as if I had stepped back in time. Some looked at the guy in amazement. Some of the other guys starred at the floor. Finally, I said:

“I don’t know if these people will ever return to our church after this morning’s visit. However, we need to decide whether we intend to obey Scripture or not.”

The man and his sons abruptly left a few minutes later. Several of the guys shook their heads in disbelief.

It was a disappointing day and a disheartening meeting. It was also a reality check. While most people in that small congregation were not like this man, I learned that I would have to be clear about my own identity as a Christian and as a Christian minister. There was going to be some form of pressure in every church in which I would minister. Typically, this would be a subtle pressure to choose comfort over truth and being “liked” over discipleship.

Question:

Can you recall a situation in which you felt pressure to ignore the words of Jesus? Do you remember a time when one person attempted to sway a group toward a behavior that did not represent Jesus?