Tag: God-Hungry

Being Judgmental Doesn’t Have to Take So Long

It was October 1995. I had been in Bethesda, Maryland, at a seminar for almost a week. Finally, it was time to go home. Late that afternoon, I flew out of Baltimore and changed planes in Chicago.

After landing in Chicago, I boarded a connecting flight to Austin. As I sat in my seat waiting for the departure, person after person passed by, apparently planning to sit in the back. Numerous people walked by and I began to wonder if maybe I would actually fly out of Chicago with no one in the middle seat.

Then I saw him.

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He wore a business suit, stylishly long hair, and a dark tan. I saw him coming and decided that he was probably full of himself. No doubt he was the kind of guy who would be judgmental of everyone else who didn’t make as much money or wasn’t dressed as nicely. (How is that for being judgmental?) Sure enough, he stopped at my row and asked if he could have the middle seat. I moved so he could sit down.

I didn’t tell him I had already decided that I didn’t like him.

We soon began talking. He appeared to be very affluent, urbane, and articulate. At one point he asked me what I did for a living. He seemed genuinely intrigued that I was a minister. He said he liked the worship service at his church. The service was very succinct and tight. He said he always learned something and always got something out of it. He went on to say that he especially liked his Sunday school. The adult classes were primarily led by four of their ministers. These were very good classes and they dealt with topics like how God works in one’s life or how a Christian should handle his/her money. Recently, two ministers had a class on Christian themes in recent movies.

He said, “I enjoy going to these classes. On Sunday morning I usually go to two classes. You can go to a class with 100 people and keep going back and meeting various people. It is relevant and I come away having learned something.” He went on to say that it was very different from the kind of Bible class where you open your Bible and read verse by verse.

On Wednesday nights the people who regularly attend the church are sort of expected to be there. Usually there will be some kind of message by their pastor. Several comments will be made about the church and there will be a meal at a nominal price.

He then went on to tell me that someone led a very interesting class on the 12 steps. He said his church takes the approach that people out there are battered and bruised in some way. One does not have to be poor or from the other side of the tracks to have experienced this.


He looked me in the eye and said, “All of us have experienced being bruised or battered in some way.”


I should not have put him in a category before even meeting him. Because I had “sized him up” early, my attitude toward him and my view of him were seriously slanted. The man I assumed to be arrogant was more humble than me. In fact, his humility exposed my own arrogance and judgmental spirit.

That evening, while traveling from Chicago to Austin, I learned something about humility (or perhaps my lack of it) from a man who appeared to have it all together but whose life displayed far more of a transparent, humble spirit than my own. It doesn’t take very long to be judgmental. Hopefully, I will remember that snap judgments may cause me to miss someone whose life is being transformed by God.


Question:

Do you recall a time when you thought you had figured out someone, only to later realize that you had misjudged that person?

When Anger Takes Over

I went to his blog again today. I don’t know the guy who writes this blog.anger.jpg

But I do know one thing: He is angry.

“Angry at what?” you ask.

Now that is a hard question for me to answer.

It seems that, regardless of the subject of the post, he comes across as agitated and angry. The subject or topic does not seem to matter.

Several years ago, I used to read his blog. His topics were interesting but I got real tired of the tone of his posts. I stopped reading his blog.

For some reason, I decided to check his blog today. I read four or five posts. In almost every post, regardless of the topic, the tone was the same. He was angry. In fact, he sounded bitter.

I don’t know this man’s story. Perhaps he experienced some kind of pain or hurt a long time ago. Perhaps he now uses his anger as a weapon to keep others from getting too close or too intimate. Perhaps his anger has been his way of keeping others at arm’s length. Again, I don’t know his story.

I do know that anger, fear, and pride left unchecked have a way of taking over one’s attitude. These characteristics have a way of shaping one’s words and expressions.


Question

Have you ever noticed that you were stuck in a particular attitude? That is, no matter what you did or said a negative attitude seemed to come out. How did you address this?

Ministry Inside.31

(The following is part of a series I write once a week especially focused on particular concerns of church leaders. If this if your first visit to this blog and this doesn’t apply to you, please scroll down to other posts.)

1. coffee33.jpg I regularly read some book, article, etc. that is based on systems thinking. This reading helps me as I reflect on my own leadership. I just read Perspectives on Congregational Leadership. This is a useful book especially if you need a quick refresher on systems thinking as it applies to church leadership. I am about to begin reading Edwin Friedman’s A Failure of Nerve. I read the first edition a numberof years ago and found it helpful. I understand this edition to be even better and look forward to reading it.

By the way, Margaret Marcuson’s book Leaders Who Last: Sustaining Yourself and Your Ministry, is an outstanding book for church leaders. She does a wonderful job of connecting systems thinking with church leadership in a way that is very user-friendly.

2. For your own encouragement, you might read a post I recently wrote entitled “You Don’t Have to Be Your History.” (Based on this wonderful line from Flannery O’Connor.) You might also enjoy this post regarding worry, anxiety, and God’s care.

3. I am making a list of questions that many ministers wish elders would ask them. (I am specifically thinking of congregations which have some form of elder system in place.) Some of these questions (some are mine and some from a good friend) might include the following:

*Are you happy with the salary that we are providing? Does it seem fair?
*What can I be praying for?
*What can we do (as an elder group) to make your experience here (with this church) more satisfying?
*Is there anything we are doing as a group that makes life very difficult for you?
*Is there anyone at this church right now who is especially giving you a hard time?

What would you add to this list? If you have a particular question that you, as a minister, wish your elders would ask, please include it in the comments or write me: jim@crestview-church.org.

4. What iPhone apps related to the Bible have you found helpful? Some of you might want to look at Scott Elliot’s post “Biblical Apps for the iPhone.” Some good resources.

5. One of the game changers in ministry is reading. Be sure to read this outstanding post by Donald Miller: “Do This One Thing and You Will Rise Above Your Peers” by Donald Miller. This is a very good post on the value and importance of reading. I can’t stress this game changer enough.

Reading well is not necessarily about how many books you might read in a year. It does mean you choose to read important books and even seminal books on particular subjects. It means you expose yourself to good thinkers. You read books that will challenge you and even provoke you at times.

Sometimes I feel completely overwhelmed by the sheer volume of books being released on the market. You may feel this way at times. Let me encourage you to focus on reading a few quality books. This is one reason why I am a regular reader of Scot McKnight’s Jesus Creed. I have read many books which I discovered on his blog. However, I have been especially helped by his book reviews. I may not read the book being reviewed but at least I am becoming familiar with the issues or arguments being presented.

Read good books, read regularly and feel good about what you are doing. Don’t worry about trying to read as many books as some of your peers. You will not always be able to read the latest from whatever authors might be popular among your peers. However, you can make reading a part of your regular, even daily, discipline.

When the Sharp Teeth are Pulled From Human Anxiety

Lately, I have been spending a lot of time with The Paraclete Psalter: A Book of Daily Prayer. Yesterday’s reflection on Psalm 46 was especially meaningful to me.


God is our refuge and strength.


In 1529 the church reformer and former Augustinian monk Martin Luther paraphrased Psalm 46 in a hymn that has been sung with hope-filled zeal by generations: “A mighty fortress is our God / A bulwark never failing; / Our helper he amid the flood / Of mortal ills prevailing.”

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The theme running through this Psalm is the incomparable beauty and unshakable security of the city of God. The place where God makes his abode is the most glorious and the most stable place in all the earth. To live within its borders is to live without fear, for nothing in all creation–not the volatile power of nature, nor that of man, nor the destructive power of “our ancient foe”(in Luther’s words)–can do harm in “the holy place where the Most High dwells” (v. 4).

Where God is, there is no reason to fear. And, since God is “with us” (v. 7) and within us, there is no place to fear. In just a few short verses, the psalmist effectively pulls the sharp teeth from all human anxiety. What real threat exists that is able to subdue the faith of those whose “refuge and strength” is God? “Be still, and know that I am God.”


Yesterday morning, I read this meditation and this Psalm once and then I read it again. I read it another time later in the day. Today I read it again. Again and again, I need to need to hear the words of this wonderful Psalm. This Psalm (and this meditation) is a powerful reminder that God has pulled the sharp teeth from all human anxiety.

Let me encourage you to name your worries and bring these before this wonderful God who is with us.

If you are like me, you may know what it is to sleep through a part of the night only to awaken at 4 am. You lie in bed for a few moments only to feel that sense of dread again. As peaceful as your sleep has been, that heartbreaking problem has not gone away.

Read again these ancient words and know that God’s promise to be present is just as real now as it was then.


Question:

What has been particularly helpful to you in times of anxiety and worry?


Ministry Inside.30

One of the game changers for ministers is to prepare each week to preach and teach as well as to put something in the “crockpot.” Here is another way of saying this:


Teach/preach this week but prepare for the future.

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Every seven days, I preach a sermon. Sundays seem to come around with great regularity. Most preachers I know not only have to prepare a sermon each week but also have to prepare to teach Bible classes. (At one point in my ministry, I preached two different sermons each Sunday. Many preachers still do this.) No matter how you come at this, these presentations demand much preparation.

Yet, there are some texts and some subjects that take longer than a week to prepare. Quite often when I preach a particular series on Sunday mornings, it is something I have been working on for months. There are some sermons I have been thinking about for years.

When a minister must preach every seven days, it is very easy to preach something long before you are ready. Sermons that are “microwaved’ may be ready after a few days, yet after awhile you may realize that some topics and some texts need much more work. That is, some of the best preparation may be when a text or topic has been allowed to slowly cook in the “crockpot” of your mind over a period of weeks, months, or years.

“But how do I do this when I have so much preparation to do for this week? How do I have time to let anything cook slowly?”

  • Read something that has nothing to do with your sermon series or next class
  • Observe life
  • Listen to people
  • Pay attention to what is happening around you
  • Cultivate your curiosity

Take notes on your thoughts and feelings regarding these. Write down what is interesting. Don’t worry about how you might “use” it. Just let the crockpot do its work.

Read the Bible. Read outside your series or the book you are teaching in class. Pray each day and make notes regarding what you are praying about. I will say more about reading next week. For now, just think about constantly adding something to the crockpot.


Question:

What is one subject or text that you waited a long time (weeks, months, or years) to teach or preach? How did the wait contribute to your preparation and teaching/preaching?


Life On a Pedestal

We place some people on a pedestal, high above all others.

I first realized this mpedestal.jpg any years ago when Charlotte and I were in the home of a young couple who lived in North Alabama. They were newly married. She was a Christian and he was not. We were in their home that evening because he wanted to ask some questions regarding Jesus, the Bible, Christian faith, etc.

At one point in the conversation, this young woman referred to her dad, who was a long-time minister in our area. She said, “My dad has never done anything wrong.” I then asked her to explain what she meant by that. She went on to say, “I have never known my dad to say or do anything that was wrong. He never mentioned that he struggled with anything. He never apologized for anything. I just assumed for all of these years that he was perfect.”

Now I knew her dad. He was a good man.

Perfect? No.

Sometimes we put people on pedestals. Some of us place fathers, mothers, and other family members there. Many Christians place their minister or other church leaders on such a pedestal. Our expectations of these church leaders are incredible. Some feel very uncomfortable when they realize where they have been placed by people. On the other hand, there are some people who seem to relish being there. Yet, the pedestal is a dangerous place to live.

Beware of living on a pedestal.

1. The pedestal does not invite a life of daily repentance. Instead, it can all too easily accommodate secrecy, distance, and rationalization.
2. The pedestal invites unreal expectations. While I may admire someone, to place them on a pedestal is a set-up for major disappointment.
3. The pedestal creates either delusion and arrogance (maybe I really am as great as they say I am) or loneliness (there is no one I can talk with about my humanness).

Sometimes ministers who have been placed on such a pedestal find themselves living with impossible expectations. Consequently, many feel very defeated. Yet, some ministers seem to desire the pedestal. Complicating this even further, some Christians seem all too ready to place them in such a position. Perhaps it is a way of vicariously living as a Christ-follower through the minister. “I may not be doing very well in my walk with God but you ought to see my minister.”

Pedestal living can create a spirit of arrogance and entitlement. For example, the minister may live among the congregation as if he is entitled to special treatment because of his role, etc. Such a spirit of entitlement can powerfully influence a person toward making decisions that are unwise and even immoral.

Pedestal living often becomes cocoon living where one feels isolated and alone. Instead of a lifestyle marked by ongoing confession and repentance, this minister feels that he must hide and keep to himself his struggles.


Bottom Line: We were never created to live on a pedestal nor do we do people any favors by placing them on one.


Questions:

What are the costs of being on a pedestal? In what ways do we place someone there? Why would someone desire to be on a pedestal?
     

One of the Most Important Roles for Christians after Tucson

Yesterday afternoon, I was in a prayer gathering with the elders of our church. Each Monday afternoon, we meet to pray for specific people in our church family as well as others for whom we have been asked to pray.

At one point, we prayed for the people involved in the Tucson tragedy.

Later, as I thought about the events of the day, it occurred to me that as we prayed we were simply doing what Christ-followers everywhere have been called to do. Many, many people throughout the country have been praying for these people.

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That evening I turned on the news. There were many voices, and intense concerns were being expressed. Some spoke regarding the present day political climate. Some talked about the need to reflect on our political rhetoric. Still others addressed mental health issues in this country (as the shooter apparently had severe mental problems). There was analysis, speculation, and debate. T

here was also projecting, blaming, and defending.

Should Christian people be involved in such conversations? Of course. Christian people have opinions, perspectives, and the opportunity to communicate in a reasonable, civil, and balanced manner.

Yet those who follow Christ must never forget the call to be faithful in prayer. Think for a moment about those who were injured or killed. The following are people who we need to continue to pray for:

1. The recovery of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and all who were injured. We also need to pray for their families who have just been through a horrifying experience with their loved one.

2. The parents of 9-year-old Christina Green who must now plan a funeral for their daughter. The teachers and classmates of this same young girl who must be heartbroken as they return to school and see her empty chair.

3. The family of Judge John Roll.

4. The family of Dorwan Stoddard and the people who make up the 120 member Mountain Avenue Church of Christ as they mourn his death. Meanwhile, they seek to encourage and care for his wife, Mavy, who was injured in the incident.

5. The families of the others who died.

While many in this country debate various issues that this tragedy surfaced, I really hope we do not forget these 19 people–some who died and some who were injured. Three days after this shooting is the time to remember names, to see faces, and to remember the common humanity we share with those who were directly impacted.


Ministry Inside.29

Each Thursday I write a post (ok, most Thursdays) entitled “Ministry Inside.” This post is primarily written for those who are in various church ministry roles. Yet others might find these comments and resources helpful as well.coffeemagic1.jpg

You might enjoy reading my blog via your phone. You can do this directly through a browser (www.godhungry.org) or through the app “Godhungry” if you have an iPhone. To download this app onto your phone, go to the iTunes store and do a search for “Godhungry,” or you can get it through the App store on your phone.

Russell Davies has written a thoughtful post entitled “How to be interesting.” What caught my attention is a great list that he gives the reader. Many of his suggestions are good ways to be present and stay fully alive. Some of his suggestions will help us see, smell, and hear the world again. Far too many ministers and church leaders get into deep ruts and find it hard to do good thinking or to change worn-out practices.

Have you seen Andy Crouch’s list: “The Ten Most Significant Cultural Trends of the Last Decade?“ This list made me think!

Last night, Charlotte and I began a marriage conversation with seven couples. We have not done this before. We hope to reflect on our own marriage and our attempt to live as Christ-followers in the context of marriage. Part of the evening included telling part of the story of our marriage.

For a number of weeks, I have been reflecting on “game changers” in ministry. One game changer is:

Be a student of your church and your community. Be observant.

Ministry always takes place in the context of a community. That is, we served real people who live in real places. Ministers ought to be good students of the people and the places where they live. Far too often a minister will enter a church and make statements that the locals find odd or even insulting. With some people, to talk about the opening of deer season might seem very normal while among people, such a topic might sound very odd. To talk about this morning’s chai latte may seem very normal among other people, while such a comment might seem out of place to others. There is nothing wrong with being an individual, however, I don’t want to continually communicate to the people in our church, “I am not one of you.”

It might help to know the people in the context where we minister. A minister who makes no effort to get to know and to appreciate his community can quickly communicate to others that he doesn’t really value the place where he is living.

Read good blogs! Read Scot McKnight’s Jesus Creed. Read Michael Hyatt’s blog. Read my friend Allan Stanglin’s blog. Read Tim Spivey’s blog. (Just a sample of good blogs.)

I regularly skim through three print periodicals in which I am primarily looking at book reviews. The publications that I skim through regularly are The New York Times Review of Books, The New York Review of Books, and Books and Culture. I find this to be a very helpful practice that lets me keep up with themes that are being addressed again and again. In particular, Books and Culture has been a lifesaver in terms of being introduced to significant biblical and theological writers.



You Don’t Have to Be Your History

During the last month, I read Flannery: A Life of Flannery O’Connor, a wonderful biography by Brad Gooch,. Flannery.jpeg

In the book, Gooch tells the story of O’Connor’s friendship with Betty Hester. For nine years, they corresponded by letter. In these letters they discussed matters of theology, philosophy, and the content of the various books they were reading.

At one point in their friendship, Hester revealed to O’Connor the details of what she called her “history of horror.” She had a very painful childhood. Her father abandoned the family when she was very young. When she was thirteen years old, she witnessed the suicide of her mother. Neighbors, believing that her mother was playing a joke, refused to call the police. Later, she joined the army, only to then be dishonorably discharged for her sexual behavior.

O’Connor’s response to Hester is classic:

“Where you are wrong is in saying that you are a history of horror. The meaning of the Redemption is precisely that we do not have to be our history.” (p. 282)

Wow.

Now I like that.

Far too many people underestimate the power of God’s redemption to change their stories. Consequently they believe their history has doomed them and forever tarnished them.

You can often see it in our eyes. They have experienced failure and consequently seem to think they will forever be among the ranks of those who are losers. I have heard these statements in 32 years of ministry with churches:

  • “Look at me! I am so messed up! Obese. Addicted. Self-medicated. I am an anxious mess.”
  • “You can’t tell me there is hope. I’ve messed up every relationship I’ve ever been in. If you don’t want your life messed up, stay away from me!”
  • “God is punishing me for the abortion I had while in high school. I know he is!”
  • “How will I ever be able to look my parents in the eye after what I’ve done?”
  • “I would die if my children or wife knew my secret. I’m so ashamed.”
  • “There is so much mess and dysfunction in my family. Will my marriage be this way? Will I mess up my children?”

Yet, O’Connor is right: “The meaning of the Redemption is precisely that we do not have to be our history.”

As Christ-followers, who are experiencing the Redemption of God, our identity does not come from our history. Nor does our identity come from our behavior, whether it has been good or shoddy. Nor does our identity determined by how many problems we have in our past. We don’t have to be our history.


Redemption means that my most shameful moment does not define me.


What defines me and what shapes my identity is Jesus. There is nothing in my past that he is unable to overcome. There is no failure that he is not willing to forgive.


Question:

Why are we often tempted to believe that our history defines us?

  



Why I Bought THIS Book For My Children

Moments ago, I placed an order on Amazon. I eagerly hit the “Place Your Order” button.One.Life.jpg

My purchase?

Two copies of Scot McKnight’s new book One.Life.

One copy is being sent to my daughter in Oklahoma City. The other copy is being sent to my daughter in Tennessee. I don’t do this often. But this is a book that I really hope they will read. This has to be one of the finest books that I have ever read on what it means to follow Jesus. The book is theological, inspirational, and very practical.

I read the book just before Christmas and found it very difficult to put down. It took me longer to read than I expected. Again and again, I paused to reflect after reading a chapter. The book made me think about my own life and my own discipleship. In chapter after chapter Scot McKnight speaks of what it means to be a Christ-follower by really following him.

One of the strengths of the book is the careful and deliberate articulation of what it means to be a Jesus-follower. What kind of life does Jesus really expect from his followers? Scot fleshes this out in 14 powerful chapters.

The following are quotes that were particular meaningful to me:

  • Jesus’ words brought waves of ordinary folks to their feet and awakened in them a reverie of hope. (p. 28)
  • Transforming Jesus’ powerful, full-orbed God’s-Dream-Society vision into a personal-religion vision sucks the life out of the word kingdom. (p. 32)
  • Jesus wants us to imagine a world in which our small actions are seen as significant actions. Offering someone a cup of cold water, opening the door of welcome, a short note of encouragement, a gentle word of help, a warm embrace, the washing of a sick person’s feet, the tending to a dying neighbor, a friendly tweet or adding someone as a friend on Facebook … these are the little mustard seeds that can have large consequences. (p. 39)
  • Being right for Jesus meant a kind of Bible reading and a kind of theology and a kind of behavior that led to loving God and loving others. If you read your Bible or prayed or went to synagogue but weren’t a more loving person, something was wrong. (p. 48)
  • Many think Jesus came to earth so you and I can have a special kind of spiritual experience and then go merrily along, as long as we pray and read our Bibles and develop intimacy with the unseen God but ignore the others-oriented life of justice and love and peace that Jesus embodied. When I hear Christians describe the Christian life as little more than soul development and personal intimacy with God, and I do hear this often, I have to wonder if Christians even read their Bibles. (p. 60)
  • The single-most glaring contradiction between Jesus’ life and our lives today–and I’m speaking to the Western-world Christians–pertains to money and possessions. (p. 111)

There are many other very meaningful quotes which I could have placed in this list.

Perhaps the chapter on wisdom is one of the best. Scot discusses seven elements of Jesus’ wisdom. This discussion alone may be worth the price of this book.

The book is available here.