Category: Starting the Day

When You Feel Exhausted


Life can be exhausting.  Think of what takes so much energy:
 

  • Tasks to be done.  (And, dealing with situations where the task was not done or was not done well.)
  • Maintenance and stewardship of finances.   (And, dealing with finances when you have overspent and lived beyond your means.)
  • Care and feeding of relationships.  (And, dealing with relationships where there is conflict.  Friends.  Marriage.  Parents/children.)
  • Emotions.  Expressing them and managing them.  (And, dealing with emotions that expressed in certain ways can actually be harmful.)

You can probably think of more factors that account for life being so exhausting.  This morning, I want to leave you with Scripture.  These words from Isaiah 41 have been so helpful and hopeful to me:

You whom I have taken from
the ends of the earth, And called from its remotest parts, And said
to you, "You are My servant"; I have chosen you and not rejected
you. Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about
you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help
you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. 
Behold, all those who are angered at you will be shamed and
dishonored; those who contend with you will be as nothing, and will
perish. You will seek those who quarrel with you, but will not find
them, Those who war with you will be as nothing, and non-existent. 
For I am the Lord your God, who upholds your right hand, Who says
to you, "Do not fear, I will help you."

The Value of the Ordinary (Kathleen Norris)

sunrise.jpgKathleen Norris, in her book The Quotidian Mysteries: Laundry, Liturgy and "Women’s Work," writes about the importance of the daily tasks as "life supporting work."  These tasks do not define who we are as human beings but they do have an important place in shaping us spiritually.  The following is an excerpt:

The often heard lament, "I have so little time," gives the lie to the delusion that the daily is of little significance.  Everyone has exactly the same amount of time, the same twenty-four hours in which many a weary voice has uttered the gospel truth: "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof" (Mt. 6:34, KJV).  But most of us, most of the time, take for granted what is closest to us and is most universal.  The daily round of sunrise and sunset, for example, that marks the coming and passing of each day, is no longer a symbol of human hopes, or of God’s majesty, but a grind, something we must grit our teeth to endure.  Our busy schedules, and even urban architecture, which all too often deprives us of a sense of the sky, has diminished our capacity to marvel with the psalmist in the passage of time as a creation:

 
It was God who made the great lights,

whose love endures forever;

the sun to rule in the day,

whose love endures forever;

the moon and stars in the night,

whose love endures forever.  (Ps. 136:7-9)

(Norris, pp. 16-17).


She goes on to speak of her sister, a single parent, mother of two who lives in Hawaii.  "Every morning, she must get up, help her children prepare for school, prepare herself for work, drive the family across the Koolau Mountains of Oahu into Honolulu, and go to her job as an office manager — officially the "administrator" — of a high-powered law firm." 

 
She then writes these important words, "As my sister has matured, accepting and growing into her responsibilities as a single mother, she has grown adept at recognizing and savoring the holy in the mundane circumstances of daily life.  Finding spiritual refreshment in unlikely places, she can offer nourishment to her children" (p. 18).

Leaving the Past

coffee_cup_4.jpgI’m back at the Murfreesboro Panera Bread this morning.  I came here to spend an hour or so working on the message for Sunday.  (I’ve learned that when I am on a trip like this, it is much more enjoyable if I can spend a few early mornings during the week thinking about Sunday’s message.  Makes the rest of the week more enjoyable.)

 
While away, I have also done some reading in preparation for a preaching conference next week in Kerrville, Texas.   There are seven books to be covered in this conference.  One of these is Elie Wiesel’s Night.  One evening, I had trouble sleeping at my mother-in-law’s house, and so I decided to read for a while.  I picked up Night and read the entire book.  I must have been out of my mind to read this and expect to go to sleep afterward.  A disturbing, sad, troubling book written by an eyewitness of the Holocaust.  An important book — but better read when one does not want to sleep afterward.

 
Meanwhile, I really am trying to pay attention to the present.  But, this isn’t the easiest thing to do.  Sometimes the past and future can become all too consuming. 

 
I like these words penned by Peggy Noonan about former President Gerald Ford:

 … Ford seemed happy when things turned out well for America. That was apparently his primary interest.

 
He seemed lacking in vanity. There
is no evidence that he was obsessed with his legacy. He didn’t worry
and fret about whether history would fully capture and proclaim his
excellence, and because of this he didn’t always have to run around
proving he was right. He just did his best and kept walking.  What a
grown-up thing to do.  Former, current and future presidents would do
well to ponder this approach. History would treat them more kindly. The
legacy of a man who spends his time worrying about his legacy is
always: He worried about his legacy.

Men and women don’t deal with the future by worrying about their legacy.  They deal with the future by doing what is most important in the present moment. 

 
And my past?  Well, my past can really impact the way I see and experience the present.  What I am facing in the present might be the consequence of a choice or decision made in the past.  The impact of some of those decisions may be quite small.  Perhaps you made other decisions that were actually quite monumental.  So what do we do with the past?

 
The past is out of my control.  I can’t go back and undo bad decisions.  I can’t return to the past and rewrite my life.  What I can do is learn from my life.  Most importantly, I can leave the past in Jesus’ hands.  The cross and resurrection are big enough to redeem any sin, failure, blunder, etc. 

Can you relate to this at all?  Do you ever find yourself just totally consumed by what happened in the past?  Do you ever find yourself giving more power and energy to the past instead of releasing it to the one who is able to handle this?

Life is Happening Right Now

CoffeeCup_BW.JPGLast night, we drove to Murfreesboro, Tennessee, to be with Christine (our older daughter) and Phillip.  We plan to spend a few days with them.

 
Christmas happened, and it was great!  Family.  Friends.  Lots of food.  The football game — the uncles versus the nieces and nephews.  Well, we did borrow a niece and nephew for our team.  Seeing young children who have grown.  Seeing older relatives who have aged.

 
I enjoy going to Florence (Alabama) each year.  My wife is from there.  Our children were born there.  Our family lived there almost eight years (when our children were very small).  Some of the most important and defining years of my ministry were spent there.

 
Christmas this year reminded me that life is happening RIGHT NOW.

 
Some people, on the other hand, seem to think that life is what happened in the past.  They refer to the past as if that was the time that real life happened.  Some parents show little, if any, interest in their adult children’s present lives.  However, they are ready to relive their high school senior play ("Remember, you had the lead role!") or a high school football game.  The problem is not their interest in the past.  The problem is that they see the past as the time when life happened. 

 
There are other people who get lost in what they hope for the future.  For these people, life is not what is happening now.  Life is what will happen "someday."
 

  • "One day, we are going to have a lot of money."
  • "One day, we will have plenty of time to spend together."
  • "One day, we will travel and go wherever we want to go."
  • "One day, we will be able to slow down and really spend some great time with our kids."
  • "One day, we will do all the things we’ve talked about wanting to do." 

 
One day …

 
Meanwhile, life is what is happening right now.

 
So, I want to open my eyes, take a deep breath, and live today.  Life is not wishing we could go back.  Life is not waiting for everything to finally come together.  Life is happening today.

Henri Nouwen: The Way of the Heart

When I first read Henri Nouwen’s The Way of the Heart, I remember feeling very uncomfortable.  Nouwen has a way of being very honest in his writing.  He is incredibly honest about himself.  He is also very honest as he talks about the human condition as he sees it.  He is perceptive in his read of Christians, the church, and our sins.

 
The following is an excerpt from The Way of the Heart.

"Compulsive" is indeed the best adjective for the false self.  It points to the need for ongoing and increasing affirmation.  Who am I?  I am the one who is liked, praised, admired, disliked, hated, or despised.  Whether I am a pianist, a businessman or a minister, what matters is how I am perceived by my world.  If being busy is a good thing, then I must be busy.  If having money is a sign of real freedom, then I must claim my money.  If knowing many people proves my importance, I will have to make the necessary contacts.  The compulsion manifests itself in the lurking fear of failing and the steady urge to prevent this by gathering more of the same — more work, more money, more friends (pp.10-11).

 
…When my sense of self depends on what others say of me, anger is a quite natural reaction to a critical word.  When my sense of self depends on what I can acquire, greed flares up when my desires are frustrated.  Thus greed and anger are brother and sister of a false self fabricated by the social compulsions of a redeemed world (p. 11).

 
Solitude is the furnace of transformation.  Without solitude we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusions of the false self.  Jesus himself entered into this furnace.  There he was tempted with the three compulsions of the world: to be relevant ("turn stones into loaves"), to be spectacular ("throw yourself down"), and to be powerful ("I will give you all these kingdoms.").  There he affirmed God as the only source of his identity ("You must worship the Lord your God and serve him alone.").  Solitude is the place of the great struggle and the great encounter — the struggle against the compulsions of the false self, and the encounter with the loving God who offers himself as the substance of the new self (pp. 13-14).

 
(Nouwen, The Way of the Heart)

The One You Can Count On

Broken_Window.jpgDuring this time of the year, Thanksgiving and then Christmas,
many of us get together with family.  We are
with people we love.  Sometimes the
relationships are uncomplicated.  Very little stress. 
Yet, sometimes the relationships are complex. 
And for many people, there is some pain involved.  Often, there is some sign of brokenness.  We are reminded that things are tense between
these two sisters-in-law.  We are
reminded of a recent divorce and the absence of a person from the dinner table.  We are reminded that
two brothers had a fuss earlier in the year after they had a misunderstanding
over a business deal.

 
We deal every day with broken promises:

 

  • Broken contracts.
  • Broken agreements.
  • Broken friendships.
  • Broken marriages.
  • Broken relationships between children and their
    parents.

But we come back again and again to Scripture, to the
promise-making and promise-keeping God.

 
The other day I was reading Psalm 105.  “Give thanks to the Lord…” (vs.1).  The psalmist speaks of the God who
remembers:

 
He remembered his
covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob (105:8-15).  The
writer begins with the promises he made to Abraham and Jacob.  The people of Israel knew
that God came through with his promises.  
He kept his word — his covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

 
He remembered his
covenant with Joseph (105:16-22). 
When there was a famine in the land and all looked bleak in Joseph’s
life, God was faithful.  In fact, Joseph
went from a slave to ruler of the land. 
God kept his covenant with Joseph. 
Think of all those years spent in slavery and in a foreign land.  Yet, God never forgot him.

 
He remembered his
covenant with the Israelite captives in Egypt (105:23-41).  During this time, he never forgot Israel.  Through the plagues and through the exodus,
he continued to be faithful.  He sent Moses
and Aaron.  He led the people through the
wilderness.  A cloud by day.  A fire by night.

 
There are days when I feel very discouraged and
disheartened by the brokenness that seems to be everywhere.  It
exists both in and out of the church (and of course, I’m not telling you
anything you don’t know).  Yet, what I
have learned is to keep going back to the one who never breaks his
covenant.  Maybe that is why the psalmist
says to “remember” (105:5).  Sometimes
his faithfulness is obvious to me. 
Sometimes it isn’t.  Fortunately,
my faith is not dependent on what I can see.  The cross and resurrection are constant reminders that God is faithful.  He keeps his promises.  He desires reconciliation.

 
This encourages me today.  Perhaps it will encourage you as well.

Are You Really a Work in Progress?

coffee_cup.jpgA lot of us say we are.  We say, "I am a work in progress." 

 

Sometimes I will post something on this blog that has a beginning, a middle, and an ending.  At times, what I write has some resolution.  It ends with a period.  It’s over.  Nothing else said.  That is the end of the post.

 

My life is not like that.  I was thinking a moment ago about this week.  Some days, I feel like I am making great progress in my life as a man, husband, and father.  Some days I feel like I am at a stand-still.  Some days I feel really good about my work.  On other days I think, "What am I doing?"  On some days I find myself encouraged by people.  On other days I feel discouraged.   

 

My life often tends to be a bit ragged:

 

  • I say what is right.
  • I do what is right.
  • I say what is wrong.
  • I do what is wrong.
  • I’ve learned this time.
  • "Thank you Lord for your mercy and grace."
  • Now I’ll go on with life.
  • "Lord, I’ve said it again.  I failed again."
  • Good grief!  How frustrating!
  • Will I ever learn?
  • What is wrong with me?
  • "Thank you Lord for giving me another chance at life."

Yes, I am a work in progress.  Do you relate to this?

Read More

On Learning to Pay Attention

Ministry is service in the name of the Lord.  It is bringing the good news to the poor,
proclaiming liberty to captives and new sight to the blind, setting the
downtrodden free and announcing the Lord’s year of favor (Luke 4:18).  Spirituality is paying attention to the life
of the spirit in us; it is going out to the desert or up to the mountain to
pray; it is standing before the Lord with open heart and open mind; it is
crying out, “Abba, Father”; it is contemplating the unspeakable beauty of our
loving God.

Henri
J. M. Nouwen

 

There is an incredible story in Mark 1.  Jesus went to Simon and Andrew’s home.  Simon’s mother-in-law is sick in bed.  Jesus heals her.  That evening after sunset, people were coming from everywhere, bringing the sick and demon possessed to Jesus.  In fact, "the whole town gathered at the door" (1:33).  Cars were lined up and down both sides of the street!  

 

I suspect that in the eyes of these early followers, this was the place to be.  This ministry was working.  Then, the next morning Jesus got up early, while it was still dark, in order to pray.  He then tells these followers.  "It is time to go somewhere else."

 

What?  It looks like this ministry is going well.  Go somewhere else?  It is interesting that he says this after spending some time in prayer.   

 

Many
of us lead cluttered lives.  The cell phone
rings.  We make appointments.  We keep checking our e-mail.  We have assignments with deadlines.  On top of this, perhaps you are married and have
children.  The clutter continues. 

 

We
come to church.  Far too often the
emphasis is on activity.

 

  • The committee
    will meet at 1:00. 
  • Can you help me with
    this project? 
  • Would you mind serving
    with the group that is planning our function?

 

This activity may be centered around some very important projects that will eventually bless people. 
However, the question is not, “Do we have enough activity going on for
God?”  The question is, “Is this a place
where you could meet God?”  If we are not careful, endless activity (regardless of how good and noble the projects are) can completely drain men and women.

 

This morning, I am thinking about the importance of being attentive to God both in public and in private.  I am in "public" much of the time.  That is, I am with someone.  Whether at home or at work, I am with people.  I am with people at church and in the community.  Yet, it is so important that I am attentive to God in the midst of this.

 

Those opportunities are often both expected (deliberately slipping away to pray) and unexpected.

 

The unexpected?

 

  • Reading a book and talking with God just after you read a meaningful paragraph.
  • Listening to music and reflecting on an aspect of your life for which you are grateful to God.
  • Working on a message for the church and seeing that it is really a message for me.
  • Exercising and thanking God for a healthy body.
  • Eating lunch — perhaps alone — and remembering before God how blessed you are to have plenty to eat.

 

Maybe, this is about learning to be attentive to God no matter what.  What do you think? 

 

One Last Look in the Mirror

mirror.jpg"Telling the truth is to paint an accurate view of reality."

 

I am not sure where that line came from.  I am not even sure who said it.  I do believe these words.   Maybe it is like the passage in James that speaks of a person looking into the Word of God.  One could say that looking into Scripture is like looking into a mirror.  You may like what you see.  You may not like what you see.  James specifically addresses the person who looks into the "mirror" and sees reality and then goes away, unwilling to make any changes in his life (James 1:22-24).  The point is to see reality and then to deal with it.

 

The truth?  Some people manipulate.  Others love.  Sometimes, I am amazed at how many conversations I have with people regarding manipulators in families, at work and, yes, in church.  Some observations:

 

1.  "The big elephant in the middle of the room" is often ignored and after a while not even seen.  It is sort of like living in a house for a long time and no longer seeing scratches on the wall.  It becomes a part of the scenery.

 

2.  Self-centered, immature people have a way of draining the life and energy from people around them.

 

3.  Some people say they want to be loved but in fact they seem to only want to be with friends who agree with whatever they might be doing.  They want the "support" of a good friend.  That is understandable.   However, some people define friendship as agreeing with them in all of their decisions.  To disagree with such a person is to risk being labeled "not supportive."  Consequently, that friend may believe she cannot honestly express what she is seeing in that person’s life.  This friend may feel that whenever she is candid with this person, she pulls away.

 

4.  Manipulators do not love others.  They use others for their benefit.   They use others to draw attention to themselves.

 

  • "See how overworked I am." — Poor guy, we need to back off.
  • "What would this church do without me?" — Yea, I don’t know what we would do without you.
  • "With all of the talented people we are bringing on staff here, you will probably fire me one day." — Oh no, we’re not going to let that happen.  Then we begin to prop up his or her sagging ego.

 

Over and over manipulators do and say what will elicit a certain response.  The focus is not on loving other people.  The focus is on using others for his or her gain.

 

Then, there are those people who love.  They have a way of loving family, friends, and people in the church with a real love.  This is an honest, yet nurturing love.  These people love you and regularly do (or attempt to do) what is in your best interest.  Real lovers will love you with a sacrificial love.  They are looking out for you, not themselves.  Using you?  Not at all.  Relationship is not about self-interest with these people.

 

Some observations:

 

1.  People who love can be trusted.  Even when they are mistaken or do not handle something well in the relationship.  It was just that — a mistake.  It did not occur because of some manipulative ploy, etc.

 

2.  People who love are in some way imitating God.  Isn’t that where loving people originates?  

 

3.  People who love are "safe" people.  They do not intend to use, manipulate or hurt in any way.

 

4.  People who love do not need a lot of attention.  They are not forever turning a conversation back to themselves.  

 
I see both kinds of people in my world.  People who are difficult and others who love.  It is one thing to see this in others.   What is more important is that I see myself for who I really am.  Most important is how God sees me.   I think that may begin when I look in the mirror (James 1:22-25).

The One Thing I Desperately Need

child.GIFMichael Quoist in one of his prayer books wrote: 

 
I don’t like old people unless they are still

           children.

I want only
children in my kingdom …

Youngsters – twisted,
humped, wrinkled,

           white-bearded – all kinds of youngsters,

           but youngsters …

I like children
because my likeness has not yet

been dulled in
them.   

They have not botched
my likeness …

I like them because they
are still growing, they are still

improving.

They are on the road,
they are on their way.

But with grown-ups
there is nothing to expect any more.

They will no longer
grow, no longer improve.

They have come to a
full stop.

It is disastrous –
grown-ups think they have arrived.


Meanwhile, it was Jesus who said, "Unless you become like a child …"  Far too many ministers — maybe far too many Christians in general — act as if they have arrived.  Far too many of us act as if we are a part of the few who "know."

 

Sometimes we are like the followers of Jesus in Mark 1:35-39.  It is early in the morning, still dark, and Jesus goes off by himself to pray.  Not long afterward, his disciples, with flashlights in hand, come looking for him.  They finally find him and inform Jesus, "Everyone is looking for you!" 

 

They are certain that this thing Jesus is doing is working.  After all, "the whole town gathered at the door" (1:33) (the door of Simon and Andrew’s house).  Jesus is healing the sick and casting out demons.  His followers think they "know."  After all, this looks like success.  They must have been so surprised when they found Jesus that morning and he tells them (Mark 1:38):

 

Let us go somewhere else — to the nearby villages — so I can preach there also.  That is why I have come.

 

Sometimes, we go through the day as if we know.  Yet, it was Jesus himself who spent some early morning hours in prayer.  He knew he needed the Father.

 

  • If more ministers followed the example of Jesus, our churches would see fewer self-absorbed ministers. 
  • If more moms and dads followed Jesus’ example, they would have a different set of priorities for rearing their children. 
  • If more Christians in general followed Jesus’ example, we would be less concerned with what people want from us and more concerned with the God we desperately need.  

 

Maybe I have academic degrees.
Maybe I have many years of experience working with people in churches.
Maybe I have read many books.
Maybe I have learned and gained knowledge. 

 

The truth?

 

I desperately need to be a child.  To not think I have arrived.  Instead, I need to pray.  And what if I am not one who prays? 

 

  • If I don’t pray, I may begin to think I have arrived.
  • If I don’t pray, I may begin to get off mission.
  • If I don’t pray, I may be more concerned with pleasing people (and live with a constant self-consciousness) instead of spending time with God.
  • If I don’t pray, I may begin to see myself as a grown-up who has arrived instead of a child who is still open to the work of God.