Category: Ministry Inside

Ever feel taken for granted?

Some ministers, elders, and other church leaders feel this way for a variety of reasons.

*An elder prays for a couple experiencing marital difficulties.  This same church leader spends hours and hours talking and listening to them.  Then one day they inform him that they are moving their membership to XYZ Church on the other side of town.  They explain, Those people are so committed. Their leaders “get it.”

*A minister speaks at a retreat as a guest resource person for a church in a nearby state.  At the end of the retreat, the people in attendance express again and again how grateful they are for his teaching.  They talk about how much they learned.  They ask for other resources on his topic.  On the return flight, this minister thinks about how much he enjoyed the weekend. He wishes he didn’t feel so taken for granted by his home church.  However, he does.  He reminds himself that he doesn’t serve for anyone’s applause.  Nevertheless, he does feel like so many people place little value on his ministry in the congregation.

*One particular couple becomes involved in serving meals to the congregation before mid-week Bible classes.  They have invested their lives in numerous younger couples in the congregation for many years.  Most recently they volunteered to help serve meals to the congregation thinking this would be a good way to serve an even broader spectrum of the church.  They eventually become discouraged after several longtime members begin complaining because one night they ran out of corn.  They feel taken for granted.

Questions: 

What can congregations do so that church leaders are less likely to feel taken for granted?  What have you seen or experienced that might be helpful?

Each Thursday, I write this post for church leaders in particular.  Regardless of what role you are in, one of the dangerous tendencies for church leaders is the temptation to become far too self-conscious.

A heightened self-consciousness will drain you of energy and eventually diminish your joy.  Perhaps what is especially dangerous is that you can easily become a pretender.

Many church leaders understand all too well that they are often being scrutinized by people.  One of the unhealthy responses to criticism is a heightened self-consciousness.  What I mean by this is an exaggerated preoccupation with how others perceive you.  Consequently:

• You try too hard to be liked.
• You try too hard to say what will appeal to everyone and cause no one displeasure.
• You try too hard to preach/teach what will not cause anyone to experience discomfort.
• You try too hard to disclose only what you believe others want to hear and not what you genuinely believe.
• You try too hard to convince others that you are a likable person while you lose your convictions in the process.
• You try too hard to please people and experience way too much distress when someone is not pleased.

After a while, if you are like some church leaders, you become so self-conscious about what others think that you lose any sense of who you really are.  In fact, you may look in the mirror and feel like a pretender.

What next?

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Many years ago, I was asked to preach for a congregation in Huntsville, Alabama, for about six consecutive Sundays.  I had never done this before.   This was a church of about three hundred people which just seemed huge to me!  What made it especially challenging is that I had only preached about three to four times before this.

That meant I had only two or three sermons.

I wasn’t quite sure where to start.  I had graduated from the University of North Texas with a degree in business.  I was in my second semester of study at a small Bible college in Alabama.  So now I was being asked to preach every Sunday for six weeks.  I began working on sermons, not really sure what I was doing or how I needed to begin.

Beside the content for these sermons, I was confused about how a person develops a style of preaching.  It seemed as if the styles of various preachers were so different.

So, I listened to recordings of several preachers.  In those days, I would listen to Landon Saunders one week and Charles Coil the next.  On still another week I might listen to Lynn Anderson then W. F. Washington the following week.  Each Sunday morning I seemed to do a poor imitation of whatever preacher I had listened to the previous week.

I can’t imagine the confusion the congregation must have experienced over those six weeks as they listened to this young, novice preacher who sounded like a different person each week.

It took me a long time to find my own voice.  It took me a long time to learn to simply be myself.

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One of the best practices for a Christian leader is to keep your eye on those who are both living life well and ministering well.

Examples have a way of teaching, inspiring and encouraging us.  An example can be a powerful motivator.  I may know something to be true but it may become vivid and concrete when I see someone living out this truth in front of me.

I want to suggest five kinds of people that church leaders would do well to pay attention to.

Church leaders, sometimes, give far too much attention to people who are demanding our attention in some way, often in the form of a complaint.

I want to encourage us to take notice of the following people:

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Have you ever been in a hurry to finish a particular project and cobbled something together at the last minute only to later regret it?

I have.

I remember once announcing to a congregation that we were embarking on a major series during the preaching time on Sunday mornings. As I recall, the announced series would be quite long. I had only been preaching for a short while at that time. I began the series and then realized that I was in no way prepared for such an undertaking. Much to my embarrassment, I had to eventually abandon the series and preach something else.

It is a lot easier to suddenly start something than to actually work through the process or even finish it.

Congregations sometimes get anxious and we make hurried, even rash, decisions only to later regret what we have done.

Some examples:

1. Elders panic over the budget and suddenly fire two ministers, uprooting two families who must now move and relocate.

2. A minister is frustrated with the congregation where he has been serving. He begins talking with another congregation that has been looking for another minister in a similar role. Within a month of the initial conversation, that minister announces his resignation. He makes this decision ignoring the warning signs that exist in the other congregation.

3. Church leaders panic over the number of people who have left the congregation. They make a rash decision to borrow an incredible amount of money for the construction of a new building on their campus, thinking this might draw new families to their congregation. Such a decision has saddled this church with a stifling debt for many years to come.

4. A congregation is looking for a preacher. They have interviewed a number of people and have made offers to two different preachers. Both turned the church down. People are complaining about how long the process is taking. Now the leaders are looking at the resume of a person who seems very eager to be interviewed. Some things on the resume don’t seem to add up (in addition to comments made by some of his references). At first, they wondered about theological compatibility but now some are suggesting that these matters will work themselves out. In their minds, they just need to quickly extend an offer to this person.

Now you might say, “But aren’t churches notoriously slow when it comes to getting things done? Surely you are not saying that churches need to continue to drag out the simplest of decisions, as many regularly do.” I’m not saying that at all. Churches can be incredibly slow at getting things done.

However, church leader’s anxiety can fuel a process.

Suddenly, there is panic. “This must be done now!” Rash decisions are made. Unfortunately, many ministers and other church leaders can tell stories of how panic and rash decision making only led to more problems and dysfunction, not less.

Question:

Have you see or experienced this in your own life and ministry?