Category: Encouragement

Living an Authentic Life — Today

I was staying in a hotel on the campus of the University of Memphis that day.  I had left the hotel early that morning and was now returning.  It was mid-morning.  As I walked near the hotel, I saw police.  They were standing by their cars just outside the hotel.  There were four or five of them.  Meanwhile, a man with a walkie-talkie was walking through the lobby.  

 
Inside the lobby of the hotel, I saw at least three other officers.  They all seemed to be on alert about something.  I sensed something was going on but of course had no idea what was taking place.

 
I returned to my room and turned on the television.  Something terrible had happened.  A shooter had injured or killed a number of students on the campus of Virginia Tech University.  Details were very fuzzy at that point but many campuses throughout the nation were on alert as several (including one in Tennessee) had received threats.

 
You know this story.  The shooter turned out to be a 23-year-old student who, according to a recent Christianity Today article (Deann Alford, "Nightmare of Nightmares," p. 52), was supposed to be in a "Bible as Literature" class that morning.

 
What an incredibly sad story.  Yet that kind of story is out of the ordinary for most of us.  This is not something we deal with every day.  Yet what we do have to deal with are the tragedies that happen on a much smaller scale but are nevertheless jarring to us because of the relationships we experience with these people.

 
Maybe that is why Brian Mashburn’s recent post caught my attention.  The title?  "My Friend Lost a Son."  After reflecting on this tragic situation involving his friend, Brian makes these suggestions regarding how we live each day:   

Forgive everyone of everything now.
Never care if someone else is preferred over you, ever.
Repay evil with kindness every single time you are wronged.
Love everyone. Everyone.
Fight for everyone’s heart. Everyone’s.
Stop hiding.
Withhold nothing from your spouse, your kids, and your parents.
Stop lying. And stop believing that "not telling the whole truth" isn’t lying.
Use every single dollar you ever have stewardship of to bless others.
Say "I love you" way too much.
Show "I love you" way too much.
Be with those you love way too much and poor, rather than away from them a little and rich.
LISTEN!
If you must talk, talk about what matters.
Respect everyone. Everyone.
If you don’t look at your kids and marvel, figure out what is wrong with you.
Get over yourself and become a "hugger."
Walk slowly through the crowd.
Stop being offendable.
Believe.
Be still without being asleep.
Be present without having to be noticed.
Notice without having to be reminded.
Say the negative things after you have exhausted everything you can say that is encouraging to anyone.
Find yourself in every single other person’s flaws, that you may love them.
Accept suffering as a gift, that you may leave nothing wasted.
Think the best of all people, that you may be a blessing.
Humble yourself constantly, that you may be lifted up, and not by yourself.
Receive
anything good at all as undeserved grace, that you may be a lover of
God, and a benefit to those closest to you and to all mankind.

The Lord Stood By My Side

canoeing.jpgI am sitting at our kitchen table having finished a cup of coffee.  It is early in the morning.  Right now, I am thinking about my work and the day I anticipate.  I want to think that the day will matter or count in some way.  For me, the day really counts if I am living in the moment with a sense of my own identity and purpose in Jesus.

 
Yet, I know this is not as easy as it may sound.  It is easy to type words like these and see them on a screen and call that reality.  I find these words to be much more difficult to live out. 

 
Years ago, I was walking with a friend and his wife through the student center at Abilene Christian University.  I suspect that we were all there for some special event.  But, I don’t remember.  What I do remember is that I apparently was discouraged with my work/ministry.  The three of us were walking down the stairs to get a coke and visit.  This couple were a few years older than I was.  They had been in some sort of full-time ministry role much longer than I. 

 
I don’t know whether or not I actually said that I was discouraged or whether it was obvious by the conversation.  As we were walking down the steps to the lower level of the student center, my friend’s wife said to me,

 
"Jim, our work is far too important to allow it to be destroyed by another mortal."

 
I have remembered this for many years.  I think she saw that day that I was getting overly focused on a person’s destructive attitude and behavior.  I was allowing this one person to discourage me and distract me.  

 
This detour can happen to you in your ministry or your family.  This detour can take place at work.  This detour can happen to you as an ordinary person just trying to deal with life.  The detour doesn’t have to be direct opposition to your work or ministry.  No, the detour can come as another just finally wears you out.

 
Sometimes, we allow situations to just finally wear us out.  Imagine being in a canoe with another person.  You would like to go straight down the river.  So, you use your oar in such a way as to cause the canoe to go straight.  Your friend, however, seems to be interested in going from one side of the river to the other.  You paddle and paddle and then find yourself heading to the side of the river and finally hitting the bank.  You get the canoe headed in the right direction again and a minute or two later, you are heading to the other side of the river toward the other bank.

 
Now that describes the setting in which many of us live, doesn’t it?  Do you relate to this?  If I am not careful, I can allow all of this to wear me out.  I will then forget the whole point of my life (or my ministry, work, etc.).

 
Now here is a Scripture that I have been reading this morning.  I have already gained encouragement from reading this.  Perhaps you will be encouraged as well.  This is a great reminder as I begin my day.  Perhaps it will be a great reminder for you as well.

At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me.  May it not be held against them.  But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it.  And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth.  The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom.  To him be glory for ever and ever.  Amen.

 
(II Timothy 4:16-18)

Cheering Others On

airplane.jpgOn Friday afternoon, we drove to Dallas-Fort Worth Airport to pick up Jamie (our younger daughter) as she returned from Ghana.  (She also spent a wonderful week in Scotland on her return.)  She spent three weeks working in the Village of Hope.  Picture hundreds of children in this place having the opportunity for an education, meals, and a safe place to sleep each night.  At least seven of these children had formerly been working as slaves.

 
She is full of stories, experiences, and ways that God was at work over that three-week period.  While we are delighted to have her home, we are so grateful that she was able to go on this trip and have these experiences.  We have spent these last few days looking at pictures and hearing these fascinating stories. 

 
This morning, I began reading excerpts from Gregory of Nyssa (331-396).  This fourth century church leader was incredibly influential in the early church.  He believed that the main use for the Bible was to enable one to grow in virtue. 

 
In response to requests for guidance in living a godly life, he wrote the following:

At horse races the spectators intent on victory shout to their favorites in the contest, even though their horses are eager to run.  From the stands they participate in the race with their eyes, thinking to incite the charioteer to keener effort, at the same time urging the horses on while leaning forward and flailing the air with their outstretched hands instead of a whip.

 
They do this not because their actions themselves contribute anything to the victory; but in this way, by their good will, they eagerly show in voice and deed their concern for the contestants.  I seem to be doing the same myself, most valued friend and brother.  While you are competing admirably in the divine race along the course of virtue, lightfootedly leaping and straining constantly for the prize of the heavenly calling, I exhort, urge, and encourage you to increase your speed.

 
(Gregory of Nyssa, from The Life of Moses, cited in Richard Foster’s Devotional Classics, p. 123)

There is something about this excerpt that I really like.  Perhaps it is the image of the spectators cheering on the participants and the horses in the race.  Now that is what I want to do.  I want to cheer on anybody who does good.  I want to cheer on anyone who does what is right.  I want to cheer on anyone who is headed in the right direction.

 
Maybe I am thinking about this today because all around us are men and women who need this kind of encouragement.

The Lord is My Helper

morning_dove.jpgToday, I feel somewhat stressed and overwhelmed.  I woke up in the middle of the night feeling very small as I began to think about decisions to be made, the unknown, and the future.  I then read Hebrews 13:5b-6:

 
"…Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."  So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?"  

 
In front of me is a memo pad.  I wrote the following a few minutes ago:

 
Today, the Lord is my helper — I am free to give my stress, anxiety, and concerns over to God.

 
Today, the Lord is my helper — I am free to not be stressed over the future.

 
Today, the Lord is my helper — I am free to relax and work hard.

 
Today, the Lord is my helper — I am free to be myself and not be overly concerned with pleasing others.

 
Today, the Lord is my helper — I am free to focus on pleasing Him instead of trying to make others happy.

 
Today, the Lord is my helper — I am free to be fully present with other people.

 
Today, the Lord is my helper — I am free to live as a balanced person.  I don’t have to apologize for taking time to laugh, play, sleep, or live as a balanced human being.

 
Today, the Lord is my helper — I am free to say "No" or "Yes" or "I don’t know."

 
Today, the Lord is my helper — I am free to enjoy the love of God, my wife, my two girls, and many other people. 

 
I suspect you relate to this.  I suspect that as you read this post, you can think of your own anxiety and worry.  I am so very thankful that he literally is "my helper."  Now isn’t THAT a wonderful gift. 

What Message Are We Sending?

southern_ocean_storm_000.jpgThis life is often difficult.

 
Maybe that is why I have always identified with the people in the church and community who at times just find life to be tough.  I get a little suspicious of people who seem to have everything all figured out.  You know these people.  Their marriages are just right.  Their kids are just right.  Their work?  Why it is the perfect job!  School?  They are loving all of their classes. 

Meanwhile, I think life is often difficult.  Marriage is sometimes very difficult.  My wife and I have a good marriage.  But — at times our marriage has been difficult.  Rearing children is sometimes very challenging.  I love my children, but at times it has been extraordinarily difficult to be a parent.  I am a minister.  I love being a minister and the work I have been called to do.  Yet, it can be very difficult.

 
What makes it difficult to live in reality?  Here are a few obstacles:

 
1.  Being with people who pretend that it is very spiritual to talk as if everything, all of the time, is just absolutely wonderful.  These people can create environments where those who struggle begin to think they must not be very spiritual because their lives are not like that.  There are people who suffer and live with excruciating pain.  I think of the woman in our church whose pain was so intense during our worship service recently that she went to her car and laid down in the back seat.

 
2.  Being with people who see themselves as some of the very, very few who "get it."  They have a way of being very condescending to those who they perceive as not really getting it.  These people can spend much time and energy evaluating and critiquing others in the body of Christ.  What happens as a result?  People in the churches learn not to say anything about their real thoughts, their real feelings, and their real doubts.  After all, who wants to be critiqued, evaluated, and talked to with that condescending tone?

 
3.  Being with people who are so busy with their own lives, their meetings, their schedules, and their concerns that they aren’t fully present with other people.  (Been there.  Been guilty of this one!)

 
I don’t want to be any of these people.  I want to be a person who can be a friend to someone who finds life difficult.  However, such a friendship and presence needs to come out of my own life with God.

 
I like what Randy Harris says in a chapter entitled "Spirituality for the Busy, Frantic, and Overwhelmed."

Glenn Hinson argues that what the church needs most are saints — people who have truly placed their lives under God’s will and control.  We don’t just need leaders with greater skill, we need leaders who are deep people.  Do you hear the call to lead out of your own deep spiritual life?

 
If we learn to pray the way Jesus prayed, read the Bible in a transforming way, practice God’s presence in the everyday routine of life, and catch the vision of the God who works in all things, we can be the deep leaders the church needs.  And in the process we will discover that true spirituality is not one more activity to add to overburdened lives but a way of living that drives our drivenness away.  Then we discover the blessedness to lead without guilt and that the promise of Jesus rings true — the yoke is easy and the burden is light.

 
(Harris in Like a Shepherd Lead Us, p. 31)

Why is it that some of us go to great lengths to convince one another that our lives are almost perfect, without struggle?  What is our fear?  What impact do we have on those who are really struggling with life when we communicate that our lives are very near perfect and without struggle?

You Can Forget the All-Star Stuff!

starbucks1.jpgYesterday I was in Dallas.  Downtown Dallas.  I was attending a one-day workshop, which was conducted in one of the meeting rooms of a large hotel.  Throughout the lobby of this hotel were decorations that focused on this week’s National Hockey League All-Star Game to be held tonight in the American Airlines Center in Dallas.

 
As I walked through this hotel lobby, I saw hockey players.  Most of them had a weathered look.  One thing for sure, these guys were "All-Stars."  The best of the best.  The guys who play the game right.  The guys who have incredible skill.  The guys who play awesome defense.  The guys who score big points.  The best.

 
Do you ever look at some people and it just seems that they must be on God’s "All-Star" team?  They seem to do life just right.  They manage to walk with the Lord in a way that appears to be, well, exceptional.   Not me.  In fact, I don’t think most of us are God’s "All-Stars."  Instead, we are people who are just trying to learn to walk with the Lord every day.  Most of us are just trying to deal with life.

So, I look back through the years of my life and I see mess-ups, some failure, sin, and at times behavior that disappoints me — not to mention God.  Yet, I also see progress, movement, and growth.  Most of all, I see hope.

 
So here are a few suggestions:

 
1.  Quit pretending to be an "All-Star."  Just be you.  Better yet, be who you are in Christ.  The pressure is off!  No need to prove to others that you are an "All-Star."  (I need to hear this one every week.)

 
2.   Relax and be who you are instead of worrying about how you might appear.  So many of us are very self-conscious!  We are very concerned about how we appear to others.  We live in the addiction of their approval.  Meanwhile, receiving their disapproval paralyzes us.  

When You Feel Exhausted


Life can be exhausting.  Think of what takes so much energy:
 

  • Tasks to be done.  (And, dealing with situations where the task was not done or was not done well.)
  • Maintenance and stewardship of finances.   (And, dealing with finances when you have overspent and lived beyond your means.)
  • Care and feeding of relationships.  (And, dealing with relationships where there is conflict.  Friends.  Marriage.  Parents/children.)
  • Emotions.  Expressing them and managing them.  (And, dealing with emotions that expressed in certain ways can actually be harmful.)

You can probably think of more factors that account for life being so exhausting.  This morning, I want to leave you with Scripture.  These words from Isaiah 41 have been so helpful and hopeful to me:

You whom I have taken from
the ends of the earth, And called from its remotest parts, And said
to you, "You are My servant"; I have chosen you and not rejected
you. Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about
you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help
you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. 
Behold, all those who are angered at you will be shamed and
dishonored; those who contend with you will be as nothing, and will
perish. You will seek those who quarrel with you, but will not find
them, Those who war with you will be as nothing, and non-existent. 
For I am the Lord your God, who upholds your right hand, Who says
to you, "Do not fear, I will help you."

The Value of the Ordinary (Kathleen Norris)

sunrise.jpgKathleen Norris, in her book The Quotidian Mysteries: Laundry, Liturgy and "Women’s Work," writes about the importance of the daily tasks as "life supporting work."  These tasks do not define who we are as human beings but they do have an important place in shaping us spiritually.  The following is an excerpt:

The often heard lament, "I have so little time," gives the lie to the delusion that the daily is of little significance.  Everyone has exactly the same amount of time, the same twenty-four hours in which many a weary voice has uttered the gospel truth: "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof" (Mt. 6:34, KJV).  But most of us, most of the time, take for granted what is closest to us and is most universal.  The daily round of sunrise and sunset, for example, that marks the coming and passing of each day, is no longer a symbol of human hopes, or of God’s majesty, but a grind, something we must grit our teeth to endure.  Our busy schedules, and even urban architecture, which all too often deprives us of a sense of the sky, has diminished our capacity to marvel with the psalmist in the passage of time as a creation:

 
It was God who made the great lights,

whose love endures forever;

the sun to rule in the day,

whose love endures forever;

the moon and stars in the night,

whose love endures forever.  (Ps. 136:7-9)

(Norris, pp. 16-17).


She goes on to speak of her sister, a single parent, mother of two who lives in Hawaii.  "Every morning, she must get up, help her children prepare for school, prepare herself for work, drive the family across the Koolau Mountains of Oahu into Honolulu, and go to her job as an office manager — officially the "administrator" — of a high-powered law firm." 

 
She then writes these important words, "As my sister has matured, accepting and growing into her responsibilities as a single mother, she has grown adept at recognizing and savoring the holy in the mundane circumstances of daily life.  Finding spiritual refreshment in unlikely places, she can offer nourishment to her children" (p. 18).

10 Ways to Bless Your Children (Part 1)

children.jpgDo you have children?  Little children?  Adolescent children?  Adult children?  Or maybe you have no children at all.  (In fact, you may be thinking, "I’m barely out of childhood myself!")

 
I’m thinking about some ways to bless your children. You can probably think of others.

 
1.  Love them anyway.  Yes I know you love them.  Most of us parents adore our children — most of the time.  Yet, some parents have a way of regularly communicating to their children that they do not measure up.  I’m thinking now about the young girl who grew up in a family where she was seen as the dunce.  Now as a young woman, she continues to experience the same from her family.   Children need parents who will believe in them and no matter what will love them anyway.

 
2.  Prepare them for the battleground, not the playground.  Some parents constantly buy their children toys, gadgets, candy, McDonalds, etc.  The kids then get into their high school years and the pampering continues.  Only now, the toys are much more expensive.  What does that communicate to these children?

 
Meanwhile, other parents prepare their children for life on the battleground where a spiritual battle is taking place.  These parents realize that children need more than toys.  They need to be equipped for life so that they will survive the difficulties and trials they will face.

 
3.  Deal with your issues.  There are no perfect human beings.  Yet, if you don’t deal with your own issues (your sins, your insecurities, your feelings of inadequacy, etc.), these can impact your children.  They may end up having to deal with some of the very issues you would never grapple with.

 
4.  Take every opportunity to remind them of who they are in Christ.  They will, most likely, receive many false messages about their identity.  They will be told that their worth is based upon their academic record, their physical attractiveness, their charm, their ability to make money, etc.  You bless your children when you help them grow up with a sense of their real identity.

 
5.  Bless your children by giving them you.  There is no substitute for your presence in their lives.  Your regular, consistent, emotional and physical presence means so much.  I have known a few parents who seem to see their child as one more activity on the list of things to be done for the day.  Yet one senses there is no real connection between parent and child.  Being attentive and giving one-on-one time are priceless gifts to children.

When Your Life Is Hard (Part 1)

cloud063zy.jpgLast night, we sat in the Lorena High School gym visiting with a number of people we have not seen in quite some time.  Our daughter Jamie graduated from Lorena two years ago, and we have only been to a few games since then.

 
It is funny how we could walk into a gym full of people to watch a game and come away remembering not the mass of people but the four or five people with whom we actually visited.  The large group was impersonal.  The individual conversations were personal.  We came away with names: Jay, Chris, Kelli, Anna, Dusti, Michelle, Pam, Brian. 

 
Personal.

 
I am presently reading Francis Collins’ book The Language of God.  The subtitle is A Scientist Presents Evidence For Belief.  It is a good book.  On the back jacket, Collins is introduced as:

 
"…one of the country’s leading geneticists and the longtime head of the Human Genome Project.  Prior to coming to Washington, he helped to discover the genetic misspellings that cause cystic fibrosis, neurofibromatosis, and Huntington’s disease."

 
A more complete introduction is in his chapter "The War of the World Views."  He responds to the question, "Why would a loving God allow suffering in the world?"  He writes: 

Rational arguments can still be difficult to accept when an experience of terrible suffering falls on an innocent person.  I know a young college student who was living alone during summer vacation while she carried out medical research in preparation for a career as a physician.  Awakening in the dark of night, she found a strange man had broken into her apartment.  With a knife pressed against her throat, he ignored her pleas, blindfolded her, and forced himself on her.  He left her in devastation, to relive that experience over and over again for years to come.  The perpetrator was never caught.

 
That young woman was my daughter.  Never was pure evil more apparent to me than that night, and never did I more passionately wish that God would have intervened somehow to stop this terrible crime.  Why didn’t He cause the perpetrator to be struck with a bolt of lightning, or at least a pang of conscience?  Why didn’t He put an invisible shield around my daughter to protect her?  (Collins, The Language of God, p. 44)

I was absolutely startled when I came across the words, "That young woman was my daughter."  Oh, my goodness!  The chapter took on a different form.  Collins became more than a scientist reflecting on the suffering of men and women.  This became personal.  His story was personal.  This issue for him was personal.  This man had not only wrestled with these ideas intellectually but in his personal experience as well.

 
Life can be very general, theoretical, and impersonal.  But my life?  Now my life is personal.  My life is about my past, my present, and my future.  My life is about the way things are and what I am experiencing.  I don’t know what is happening with you right now or what has happened to you.  I don’t know what events have marked you or shaped you in a very personal way.  However, I do know that many people have great difficulty dealing with life the way things have turned out. 

 
In the meantime, maybe a line from Jehoshaphat’s prayer is in in order.  Charlotte reminded me of this line just the other day.  Jehoshaphat, upon facing the powerful armies of the Moabites, the Ammonites, and the Meunites who were about to attack him, prayed "… O our God, will you not judge them?  For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us.  We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you" (II Chronicles 20:12).