Category: Encouragement

Pay Attention

images_2.jpgNeglect. 

Now that is a stark word. 

Sometimes, we neglect to pay attention.  This is something that I have been thinking about lately.  The importance of simply paying attention to another person.  I recognize that others need to do this.  But, do I pay attention?

Have you ever been to someone’s house for dinner (maybe there were a number of people present) and few people seemed to show any interest in you or others there?  Everyone was friendly and pleasant; however, no one asked you anything.  No one asked you about your work, your home, your family, your church, etc.  In fact, no one really asked anyone else anything either.

I remember being at a dinner like this on one occasion.  Most of the people there had not seen one another in six months to a year.  At least one person was there who did not know most of these people.  Yet, the conversation was pretty thin.  No one asked questions other than a very general, "Well, how are things in Denver?"  But there was no follow-up to such a question.  The dinner conversation centered around a few people who told a few old stories.  After dinner, one or two talked while the others remained quiet or made some sort of "small talk."

I remember leaving that dinner feeling very dissatisfied.  Something was missing.  Something was out of place.  We had been together and yet we were not together.  Later it occurred to me that one problem with this setting was that no one was really paying attention to others.  No one really showed a genuine interest in others.

Contrast this with conversations in which someone really pays attention to another.  The other person listens.  She asks questions.  She asks for further elaboration.  She is not quick to change the subject or begin talking about herself.  Rather, she has a way of probing and showing interest.

Yes, that’s it.  People who pay attention to others really do show an interest.  Why?  They are interested.

Quite often, families come together and they really don’t know one another.  Oh they have formed certain perceptions and opinions, but they may rarely ask good questions of each another.  Consequently, the parents really don’t know their adult children or grandchildren.   The adult children may really not know their parents.  Brothers and sisters may really not know one another at all.  Cousins may no longer know one another.  These family dinners can become places where strangers who are related come together and share a meal but never share their lives.

I think about some of the people I know who "pay attention" well.  When I am with these people, they show interest.

  • Carl — at our church.  An excellent listener.  Asks questions.
  • Charles — a longtime friend who amazed me a long time ago as I saw how he paid such close attention to the lives of his high school sons — knowing when they had tests, who they were taking to special dinners, aware of their relationships, etc.
  • Doug — who asks questions.  Though I see him very little, we stay connected, in part, because he shows such an interest in his friends.
  • Steve — who in conversation will ask a number of wonderful, even probing, questions.  He shows such interest in his friends.

Yes, I know that paying attention to another is a two-way street.  While I cannot control how another may respond, I can take the initiative in my relationships to pay attention to a person whom I care about.

One way of paying attention is by showing a sincere interest in the other person.  In conversation, one can do this by asking questions.  Yet, there are many other ways of paying attention to another.  This might be worth thinking about.

Question: What lets you know that another is genuinely interested in you as a person?  What do you do in your relationships to pay attention to another person? 

“Nail Your Colours”

FlowingstreamsFor the last week, I have been reading Stuart Briscoe’s new book, Flowing Streams.  Briscoe was the longtime pastor of Elmbrook Church in Brookfield, Wisconsin.  Now close to eighty years old, he speaks of growing up in Great Britain and some of the people who were such a positive influence in his life.  One of these people was Captain H. S. May, a career soldier in the Royal Artillery.  He spent much time in the Briscoe home when Stuart was a child and was a significant person in his life.  He showed great interest in Stuart and encouraged him in many ways.  

 

When Briscoe was seventeen, he decided to enter the Royal Marines.  Captain May gave him some important advice.  

… he told me, ‘You must nail your colours to the mast.  Right away!’  As I had never heard the expression before, he explained that in the old days when a ship of the Royal Navy sailed into battle, the colours of the sovereign were hoisted to the top of the mast and remained there throughout the conflict unless they were defeated or surrendered.  Then, of course, the colours were replaced either with the white flag of surrender or the colours of the conquering sovereign.  But with that in mind, some naval captains would order the colours to be nailed to the mast so that defeat and surrender were shown to be out of the question; they would rather ‘go down with all flags flying.’

 

‘You must show your fellow marines right away whose you are and whom you serve, Stuart,’ my military hero explained forcefully.  Too forcefully for my liking.

 

‘Did you do that?’  I asked timidly.

 

‘Yes, I did,’ he replied.  ‘The first night in the barrack room I knelt by my bed and prayed.’

 

‘What happened?’ I ventured.

 

‘They threw boots at me,’ he replied casually, as if this were an everyday occurrence.

 

‘What did you do?’ I queried, hardly daring to ask.

 

Looking at me as if the answer was so obvious he was surprised I should ask, he replied, ‘I cleaned them and returned them, of course!’

 

(Stuart Briscoe, Flowing Streams, p. 31)

Thankful

I’m very thankful for all of the people who prayed  for "Tech Support" the last few days.  How wonderful to share a prayer request for someone in a country far from this one and see an outpouring of people who pray.  I was very encouraged to see your response to her.

 

I continue to be very grateful to all of you who read these posts.  Some of you comment occasionally and some very regularly.  I have known some of you for a long time.  Others of you now seem like longtime friends as I have interacted with you through comments and even e-mail for several years.  Then, of course, some of you are fairly new to this blog and I am thankful that you are here.   

 

This blog began four years ago.  At the time, I did not know what to expect from anyone who might be reading.  I did know that writing helped me think through what was on my mind/heart.  Since then, you have been a constant source of encouragement.  Some of you comment occasionally or regularly.  Others have sent notes or have indicated on Facebook that a particular post was meaningful.

 

I like this medium.  It enables me to write something that I hope will be useful to you.  Sometimes these posts originate in what I’ve read or in some particular experience.  At other times, I am thinking about some dimension of life and choose to write about it.

 

Ultimately, I would hope that the posts generally reflect the name of this blog.  After all, I do believe that we are only fully human when we seek and hunger after God.  I really believe this.

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Update: You might enjoy my Facebook page or even Twitter.  I have found both to be very useful.  You might enjoy browsing through some of my bookmarks on my del.icio.us page.  I use this regularly and am constantly adding new bookmarks.

 

You might enjoy looking at God-Hungry Live for new videos that have been added.  Videos are added to this collection very, very regularly.  A number have been added in the last two weeks.  (Go to the top, middle portion of the page and look for "playlist" to see the videos that are available for viewing.)

 

Finally, "What I’m Reading" in the right hand bar has been updated.

I Prayed For You — Update

macbook_pro.jpg

(You may have seen this post yesterday.  If you did, I encourage you to go to the bottom of the post and click on "comments."  This woman commented this morning.  She signed it "tech support.")

 

She was so nice.  We were on the telephone for about 45 minutes.  I was having computer problems.  She was at the other end of an 800 number and worked in technical support.   What she did to help me was involved and detailed.  Yet, she was patient and polite.  A part of this process included a procedure during which she was able to actually look at my computer from her remote location.  Consequently, she was able to see my home page, which is this blog.  Finally, near the end of this process when it seemed that I would finally have wireless service again, she commented on the words that she saw in front of her on her screen.  She said aloud the words: “God-Hungry.” 

 

She then said something like, “That’s interesting.”  She asked me if I was a pastor or a minister.  I told her I was.  She laughed nervously and said, “I’ve got lots of problems.”  I said that I write this blog every day for people just like her who might need encouragement.  She said, "Well I need that."


She went on to give me a confirmation number and made a few comments about the technical help she had given.  She then said, “May I ask you a question?”  Sure.  “Would you pray for me?”  I could hear many people around her, no doubt helping other callers.  I realized that she was putting some trust in the voice at the other end.

 

I asked her if there was something specific that I could pray about.  She said, "I have so many problems."  I said, "Life can be overwhelming, can’t it?"  For a moment, there was silence on the other end of the telephone.  She then said, "I’m crying."  I told her that I was praying for her and would continue to pray later that evening.  I encouraged her to look on this blog for something that might be encouraging. 

 

The following is a brief note to her:

 

Thank you for your help last night.  I am glad you asked me to pray for you.  You gave me your name and the name of the country where you live.  After getting off of the telephone last night, I prayed for you.  I prayed that God would help you with these overwhelming problems.  I then "Googled" your country on my computer.  I looked at the map of your country.  

 

You are on the other side of the world from where I live.  Yet, God knows exactly where you live.  As I prayed, I thought about how he knows your address, your past and your present.  He knows exactly where you live and what might be going on in your life and family.  He knows the stress and pressure that you feel.  He knows what is not going right in your life.  He knows you and loves you.  

 

I prayed for you again, when I got to my office.  I know of nothing more powerful than praying for another person.  It is a privilege to pray to God on your behalf.  By the way, I happen to believe that our brief conversation was no accident.  This sounds like a moment in which God was working in your life to reach out to someone and communicate your need for prayer. 

 

Let me encourage you to look around this blog.  Many of these posts are written to encourage.  Feel free to either comment or e-mail me at jim@crestview-church.org.

Now to others who may be reading this post:  Will you consider praying for her today?  If you will pray for her, please leave a comment indicating that you will do so.  Also, if there is a post that you have read on this blog that in some way you have found encouraging, please leave a link in your comment.   

A Forgotten Treasure

tree.jpgA friend of mine wrote me a rather sad note.  He said that some seem to think that he is "over the hill," "out of touch," and "past his time."  He feels as if he is no longer valued.  This man has white hair and is in his early seventies.  What is ironic about this is that this man has continued to grow, develop, and change.  He has much to offer.  He has held leadership roles in a number of different sectors including the university and business. 

 
This isn’t the first conversation that I have had with someone who feels this way.  In fact, there have been many.  What is happening here?  Could it be that a number of us have forgotten that some of these people may in fact be treasures?  Could it be that we might gain much through a mentoring relationship with such a man?

 
A number of years ago, a friend of mine was about sixty-one years old and suffering from poor health.  He had been a church leader and outstanding preacher for many years.  For several years, he had been suffering from poor health.  Cancer.  Heart disease.  Parkinson’s.   The medication, the diseases, and a few other factors contributed to my friend’s loss of confidence. 

 
On one occasion he was invited to participate in a forum to discuss a mission opportunity.  He was hesitant to go.  In fact, he was very hesitant because his confidence had really been shaken.  I sensed that he felt weak physically and that impacted the way he felt emotionally.  However, he decided to go.  He flew to a large city where the small group of people met in the meeting room of an airport hotel. 

 
At one point, my friend decided to make a comment.  He did so with some hesitation.  No sooner did he make his comment than another man quickly dismissed it as irrelevant.

 
Almost immediately, after this man spoke, a man in the group who was the former president of a large Christian college asked for the attention of everyone in the room.  He began to speak and pointed to my friend.  He said regarding my friend’s comment, "He is exactly right and has pointed out some very important concerns."  

 
Later in the day, the forum dismissed and the participants all went home.  My friend went away encouraged by this man who would stand with him and affirm what he had said.

 
Do you know of a person in who is a forgotten treasure?   What do we lose when we disregard such people?

Do I Ever Cherish Do-Overs!

coffee43.jpgJust a couple of weeks ago, on July 20, I heard a piece on the radio from NPR’s "This I Believe."  The segment I heard featured a man by the name of Dan Flanagan from Michigan.  The portion of the interview that stood out was the following:

 

 
I don’t know why I came to the decision to become a loser, but I know I made the choice at a young age. Sometime in the middle of fourth grade, I stopped trying. By the time I was in seventh grade, I was your typical degenerate: lazy, rebellious, disrespectful. I had lost all social graces. I was terminally hip and fatally cool.

It wasn’t long after that I dropped out of school and continued my downward spiral. Hard physical labor was the consequence for the choices I made as an adolescent. At the age of 21, I was hopelessly lost, and using drugs as a way to deal with the fact that I was illiterate and stuck in a dead-end job carrying roof shingles up a ladder all day.

But now I believe in do-overs, in the chance to do it all again. And I believe that do-overs can be made at any point in your life, if you have the right motivation….

 
I was particularly gripped by the line that I highlighted above: "But now I believe in do-overs, in the chance to do it all again."  Does that line ever resonate with me!  When I reflect upon God’s redemptive work through Jesus on the cross, I always come away with such an appreciation in the opportunity for a "do-over."  Forgiven.  Cleansed.  Washed.  A chance to come at life again.

 
Far too many of us live with a sort of resignation toward life.  "Oh well."  Yes, I realize that there are consequences for poor choices and bad behavior.  Our blunders, failures, and mistakes can and do impact other people.

 
Yet, in Christ, there really is the opportunity to begin a new day.  I can wake up in the morning, take a deep breath, and step out into the world with the assurance that I am loved by the God of the "do-over."

 
This means a great deal to me.  I have found it far too easy to get bogged down in my own failures.  You can make your own list.  My list would have to include:
 

  • What I wish I had done differently when my children were still living at home.
  • The immaturity and insensitivity I often displayed in our marriage, those early years in particular.
  • Blunders I made in my ministry with various churches.
  • Ways I wish I had handled various situations with people differently.
  • Regrets I have over the way I have used my time in the past.
  • Opportunities that I failed to see or grasp.

How easy it would be to get bogged down in these kinds of things!  How easy it would be to rehearse these failures again and again!  Far better for me to focus on the God who continues to work through me, regardless.

 
I love the line uttered by Joseph to his brothers in the very last chapter of Genesis.  After being sold into slavery by them, after serving time in prison, and after being separated from his family for so long, Joseph says:

 
Don’t be afraid.  Am I in the place of God?  You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.  So don’t be afraid.  I will provide for you and your children.  (Genesis 50:19-21)

 
In spite of it all, God had worked through him and would continue to work. 

 
As you begin a new week or new day, what is most encouraging to you as you think about the God of the "do-over"?

Having the Nerve to Follow Christ (Part 1)

coffee24.jpgIt takes a lot of nerve to follow Christ.  It takes a lot of nerve to minister to a church and to a community. 

 
No matter who you are and what your vocation might be, if you are going to follow Christ, it will call for courage.  Before the late Edwin Friedman passed away a number of years ago, he had been working on a book entitled A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix.  The book is very good and I recommend it highly, particularly to Christian leaders.  However, I love this title!  A failure of nerve.  I suspect that if you have wrestled with fear, as I have at times, you relate to this line.

 
Christians have always struggled with fear, timidity, and cowardice.  Early on in the book of Joshua, God reminds his new leader Joshua: 

". . . As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you or forsake you.  Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them.  Be strong and very courageous.  Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.  Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.  Then you will be prosperous and successful.  Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."  (Joshua 1:5b-9)

Courage!  One Christian writer has said that courage is the willingness to say or do the right thing regardless of the cost.  For most of us in the West, the cost comes in the form of mental and emotional pain.  Yet, perhaps such pain really shouldn’t be a surprise to Christ-followers.  After all, the earliest Christians suffered for the sake of his name.

 
Friedman spoke of the danger of being a "peace-monger."  This is the person who often disrupts the Christian who is displaying courage.  This person, according to Friedman, is actually a highly anxious risk avoider.  He described this person as being incapable of taking a stand.  This person functions as if he/she had been "filleted of their backbone."  Such a leader may be nice but spineless.  When a church leader hears the words, "I’ve never heard anyone say anything negative about you," that is not necessarily a compliment.  In fact, such statements may actually feed a person’s addiction to good feelings rather than God-centered progress.

 
What kind of courage is needed by believers in general and Christian leaders in particular?
 

  • The courage to keep your marriage covenant even though the present season of marriage may be far from satisfying.
  • The courage to be faithful to your husband/wife even when you are traveling and are away from home and enticing opportunities for sin appear.
  • The courage to trust God when faced with opportunity to serve and do good instead of yielding to fear and then using your fear to terrify others in the church.
  • The courage to model personal holiness and purity in an R-rated culture.
  • The courage to challenge believers to move toward risk and sacrifice for the kingdom of God instead of ease and a soft, easy, self-indulgent life. 

What evidence of courage do you see among some Christians today?  What evidence do you see that fear has been allowed to rule some Christians?

 
More later. 

41 Things Encouragers Ought to Know (part four of four)

coffee33.jpgThe following is the conclusion of a list I am calling: "41 Things Encouragers Ought to Know."   You can find part one here, part two here, and part three here.

 
31.  Encouragers need to know the power of listening.  Some people just need someone to listen.

32.  Encouragers need to know the power of paying attention to another.

33.  Encouragers need to know the power of Scripture.  Sometimes we just need to hear the promises of God from someone who genuinely cares.

 
34.  Encouragers need to know that even those who may appear to have it "all together" outwardly often need encouragement.

 
35.  Encouragers look at another’s genuine intention and not just their imperfections.

 
36.  Encouragers want others to do well and do not delight when others fail. 

 
37.  Encouragers are people who communicate hope when others feel like giving up.

 
38.  Encouragers add to the life of another instead of using them.  

 
39.  Encouragers love to see others overcome difficulties.

 
40.  Encouragers love to see reconciliation happen whether it is a marriage, friendship, or something else that has been broken.

 
41.  Encouragers lift up one who has been broken down by life. 

A Better Place Than Worry

coffee27.jpgI really don’t like that feeling.  That sense of being overwhelmed.

 
I woke up early today, much too early.  For a few moments, as I lay in bed, unfinished tasks and unsolved problems seemed to parade themselves in front of me.  These were followed by a few uncertainties, things about which I am unclear what to do.  What had been a restful sleep had suddenly turned into a few moments of anxiety.  It was almost as if an accusing voice was saying, "How can you sleep at a time like this?  Look at your life and work.  You have things to be concerned about!  You have reasons to be anxious!  Now wake up and worry!"

 
Do you relate to these feelings? 

 
Perhaps you know all too well these nagging reminders.

 
The unfinished.  "Oh my goodness, how will I ever get all of this done?"  You haven’t finished that project or that paper for that class at the university.  You haven’t finished preparing that message, that talk, or that sermon.  You are not ready for that meeting.  You have a special event coming soon at church.  Things are not where they need to be in terms of preparation.  You feel behind.

 
(You may be thinking at this point: "Unfinished?  I haven’t even started!") 

 
This morning I was thinking about several tasks that are unfinished and one in particular that I haven’t even begun.  I really was feeling overwhelmed by the unfinished.

 
The unanswered.  "How will all of this work out?  How will I solve these problems?"  You have some dilemmas for which you have no answer.  You know the situation is not right but you just aren’t sure what to do.   These problems can range from annoying situations that keep you, your church, or your company from being effective to heartbreaking situations that involve people you care about deeply.  This morning one of these situations flashed through my mind and within seconds everything felt heavy and serious.

 
The unpleasant.   "Yuk. Just the thought of doing that is depressing!"  You have an unpleasant conversation to initiate.  You are in conflict with someone and you are to meet with that person later in the day.  You have a task that you need to begin.  The task is something you really have no desire to do.  Maybe you are tired of having to do this one more time.  Many of us feel a sense of dread when we think about the unpleasant.  

 
Now perhaps you don’t relate to this at all.  Yet, I suspect there are a few of us reading these words who very much relate to this. 

 
Anyway, I finally got out of bed.  I began to think about a way to deal with this as a person who follows Jesus. I began to  think about Paul’s words in Philippians 4.  Then I sat down at our kitchen table and read these words from my Bible:

 
"Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  (4:4-7)

 
Good news.

 
1.  The Lord really is very near.  He has chosen to be near me and has not gone anywhere.  He has not abandoned me to fend for myself.

 
2.  God wishes to receive my requests.  In fact, by prayer and petition, he desires that I present everything to him.

 
3.  God is greater than all that is unfinished, unanswered, or unpleasant in my life.  My anxiety is reduced when I depend upon him and trust him instead of feeling as if it is all up to me.

 
4.  God wishes to give me a peace that is actually beyond my comprehension and understanding.  In Christ Jesus, this peace actually guards my heart, blocking the anxiety that can easily captivate me.

 
5.  As a result, my joy is secure.  (How I need to be reminded of this!)  My joy is secured by the one who is at work in my life and deals with the matters that I present to him.  I can trust him with what is on my heart.  After all, he loves me and cares for me.  

Do you relate to this?  I suspect there are lots of moms/dads, business people, ministers, singles, college students, etc. who very much relate to some of this.  Perhaps today, you find that these promises from God really speak to you.  Thank God.