10 Ways to Bless Your Children (Part 1)
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Do you have children? Little children? Adolescent children? Adult children? Or maybe you have no children at all. (In fact, you may be thinking, "I’m barely out of childhood myself!")
I’m thinking about some ways to bless your children. You can probably think of others.
1. Love them anyway. Yes I know you love them. Most of us parents adore our children — most of the time. Yet, some parents have a way of regularly communicating to their children that they do not measure up. I’m thinking now about the young girl who grew up in a family where she was seen as the dunce. Now as a young woman, she continues to experience the same from her family. Children need parents who will believe in them and no matter what will love them anyway.
2. Prepare them for the battleground, not the playground. Some parents constantly buy their children toys, gadgets, candy, McDonalds, etc. The kids then get into their high school years and the pampering continues. Only now, the toys are much more expensive. What does that communicate to these children?
Meanwhile, other parents prepare their children for life on the battleground where a spiritual battle is taking place. These parents realize that children need more than toys. They need to be equipped for life so that they will survive the difficulties and trials they will face.
3. Deal with your issues. There are no perfect human beings. Yet, if you don’t deal with your own issues (your sins, your insecurities, your feelings of inadequacy, etc.), these can impact your children. They may end up having to deal with some of the very issues you would never grapple with.
4. Take every opportunity to remind them of who they are in Christ. They will, most likely, receive many false messages about their identity. They will be told that their worth is based upon their academic record, their physical attractiveness, their charm, their ability to make money, etc. You bless your children when you help them grow up with a sense of their real identity.
5. Bless your children by giving them you. There is no substitute for your presence in their lives. Your regular, consistent, emotional and physical presence means so much. I have known a few parents who seem to see their child as one more activity on the list of things to be done for the day. Yet one senses there is no real connection between parent and child. Being attentive and giving one-on-one time are priceless gifts to children.
i can see only five..
Phillip,Thanks! I forgot to note on the original post that this was part 1.
jim, I can certainly identify with #3. When our daughter was about 16, she began to get rebellious. As I was praying, the Lord spoke to me saying, "What do you expect? You have never repented of your rebelliousness." Believe me, I hit the ground on my knees immediately. I had been carrying my 60’s rebellion as a badge. No more, not once I saw what it was doing to my kids. Praise God for His deliverance! James
With three young children, I forget so easily that what my kids need most is ME. They need me to take a break from the laundry and play UNO. I get so caught up in the day-to-day work of it all, sometimes I forget the whole relationship thing.
Thanks for the reminder today!
First, let me just say this for all who read your blog. Just to show us you can do it, why not post a not-so-good blog like the rest of us do? Just one?? :)Excellent! When our daughter was in early elementary school, there were many children in her class who lived in blended families and that confused her. I remember she came home one afternoon and asked us if we would ever leave one another and she would have to live with another family. That broke my heart for the children who were making those adjustments (and many times an adjustment for the better!). We assured her she wouldl always come home to her mom and dad. Later, in college, she shared that in one of her sociology classes and called to thank us for keeping our promise as that had given her great stability.I share that to say what we all know, we bless our children greatly by loving our spouse unconditionally, intentionally, and consistently.
hi jim i hope you dont mind this but how do i unsubscribe form the comments the link in the email that takes me to unsubscribe shows 404 errorI just wnted to know the nswer to my question so i subscribed to this post:-) phiip
And here’s another one… let our children touch our hearts…in other words, let them teach us. Children so often have the wisdom of God, in crystalline form.
Thank you James. I know that your children are blessed to have a dad like you.
Robyn,How easy it is to get involved in day to day responsibiliies and need a wake up call. I’ve been there. Thanks for your comment. I think many can relate.
L.L.That is a good one. Our children often teach us a lot. Sometimes, they teach us much about ourselves. Thanks!
Greg,(You always have something in your comments or posts that make me smile)…What a wonderful story about your daughter. She is so blessed to have parents like you and Janice. Your comment is a reminder of how our children often reap blessings from our covenant keeping.
Hi jim, I am still getting the emails. Coming to think of it, I dont mind them, bec it subscribes me to only this thread. But for web,master purposes i guess you would want a properly configured subscription manager in place . Blog onPhilip
[…] Perhaps you have children. Your children may be small, adolescents, or they may be married and have a mortgage of their own. I have two children. They are now 23 and 19. I continue to be their Dad. It is the same role but the work of being a Dad is a little different when children are that age. The basic principles, however, never change. The following is part 2 of "10 Ways to Bless Your Children." If you missed the first post, you can get to it here. You may have others that you would like to add. A few suggestions: 6. Say only what communicates value, respect, and love. Choose to never say or do anything that will humiliate. Sometimes, families will tell embarrassing humiliating stories about their children. The child is embarrassed at this but then the parent says, "I’m just kidding." (In other words, "since I think this is funny, you shouldn’t let this bother you.") Listen, we all do things in our families that are silly, stupid, mindless, careless, etc. I have found that it is much better for me to tell about something silly or stupid that I did–not my children. Children need to know that homes are safe places where one’s mistakes are not announced to he world. 7. Be your child’s greatest encourager. Before you move on, think about this one. Far too many parents are really not that encouraging. It’s not that they have a critical spirit. Rather, they just say nothing. Children not mind readers. We can do better than just expecting them to know we are in their corner. They need to hear it! Make an effort to catch them doing something good, right, thoughtful, considerate, well done, etc. and point it out. Highlight it! "Hey, you really handled that situation very well." 8. Pray for your children. If you are not praying for them each day, who is? Regardless of the age, they need you to lift them up before the Lord in prayer each day. Think about their day. Think about their setting. Think about the people who they will be with. Pray about these situations. 9. Give them what they need not what they want. Many of us are very busy people. We have a lot going on. So often, parents will feel guilty about how busy they are and so decide to give them a new "toy." Yet, we do our children no favors when we give them most everything they want. The point is this: Too many children grow up getting all the things they want while little attention is given to what they really need. Think about what your children really need if they are going to make it in this difficult world as obedient children of a loving God. 10. Give your children something to look forward to when they come home. Give them a beautiful home to look forward to. That’s home–not house. Anyone with enough money can build a beautiful house. Our children need beautiful homes. Homes that are filled with warmth, laughter, and love. Beautiful homes are places where children can catch a glimpse of the loving God in the love of their parents. These homes remind kids that no matter how bad the day is at school or with friends, they can alway come home. […]
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I just finish talking to my daughter how important her school is and she was telling me how important her social life is. I Finlay told her to view life as a holistic approach. after reading the passage I learned the important of having self worth .
Thankyou for this article, I have a lot of work to do in my childrens life. That work is prayer and showing love. Being patient and understanding.
Peggy, thank you for your comment. Your children are blessed to have a mother who is willing to do this kind of work.