1. Marriage is sometimes boring. Why not just say it? We often don’t say it because many have the expectation that marriage should never be boring. Some believe that if you experience boredom, it means the marriage is not working. (If we were really in love, how could one or both of us be bored?). Yet, boredom is a part of life. What is important is that we address this in a positive way instead of making destructive choices (for example: pornography or adultery).
2. Marriage is often very exciting. You know the stereotypes. I heard a comedian refer to one the other day. This comedian said he believed homosexuals ought to have the right to get married. Why? "I believe that everyone has the right to be miserable." What?
The truth is that marriage often is very exciting and fulfilling the longer one is married. Again this goes against the popular thinking of the culture. The culture says that great sex is to be found in hoping from bed to bed. Yet the truth is that people who are devoted to one another in marriage often find that sexual satisfaction increases as they continue to enjoy one another in an exclusive covenant relationship. (I am not suggesting that just because a marriage has lasted that the quality of that marriage is necessarily high. If each partner treats their spouse poorly or takes them for granted, I would not expect the couple to experience a great deal of satisfaction).
3. The breaking of marriage vows always hurts others. I remember a couple who was breaking up. The wife was leaving her husband and children. She kept insisting to me that her kids would not be impacted at all. Of course, the best research does not bear this out. Even adult children are impacted by their parents’ divorce.
I feel for college students who get the dreaded call from a parent back home announcing that "things are not working out between your mother and myself." My oldest daughter once had a roommate who experienced this tragedy with her family. This girl had a horrible semester, often crying herself to sleep at night.
4. Men and women often sin against one another. I am not just referring to adultery. Married people have the capacity to sin against one another in a variety of ways. For example, look at the works of the flesh in Galatians 5:19-21. Some of these include hatred, jealousy, fits of rage, envy, drunkenness, etc. Married people can practice these behaviors and sin against one another. Probably the common way married people sin against one another is through self-centeredness. In fact, they can destroy one another.
Think of the opportunities which exist day for married people to repent.
5. Marriage takes hard work. I suppose this is not very romantic. Many people have the notion that marriage is just a feeling. With this line of thinking, if you have to work at it, it isn’t real. As one wife told me many years ago (regarding her husband), "He ought to know what I need! Why should I have to tell him?" In other words, this shouldn’t take work.
The truth is, marriage is often hard work. Yet hard work doesn’t have to mean drudgery or something laborious. My daughter just got married to a wonderful young man. One of the most important truths they need to know is that marriage is hard work but can be wonderful at the same time. Yet, it is not just newly weds who need to hear this. People married for 10 and 25 years need to hear this as well.
I’ll post the remaining five soon…