Today begins a new year and a new decade.
As this new year and new decade begins, I am reflecting on three characteristics that are very important to me. I want these qualities to be exhibited in my life. These are not recent values. These have been important to me for a long time.
1. Graciousness. I love to be in the presence of gracious people. These are people whose very demeanor exhibit grace. They are thoughtful and respectful in their relationships. They do not look for ways to take advantage of others. Instead, they are known for treating people right.
Many years ago, I went on a camping trip with a number of guys, most of whom lived in different parts of the country. We had been camping for a number of days and and were ready to return home. We decided that after we broke camp we would drive into a nearby town for a hot meal in a local cafe. At the conclusion of this meal, one young man volunteered to charge everyone’s order to his credit card, instead of asking the waitress for separate checks.
While we waited at the table for his credit card to be processed, we began reimbursing this young man with cash. For the most part, the guys were very gracious. They made sure that they gave him enough cash to cover the cost of their meal including tax and tip. One person asked the young man to count the money to make sure that he was fully reimbursed for the amount that he had charged onto his credit card. “We want to be sure that you get enough money.”
He counted the money and came up short.
One man in the group had not given him enough money to pay for his meal (much less covering the tax and tip.) This was not a situation in which the man had forgotten his money. Rather, it was an awkward moment because he apparently knew he had not fully reimbursed the young man and was not going to give any explanation. Finally, an older gentleman who was sitting nearby quietly insisted that the guy give the young man more money so that he did come up short.
Gracious people do not try to take advantage of someone else in order to save themselves money. In fact, gracious people do not try to take advantage of another for any reason.
2. Generosity. I love to be in the presence of people who are generous. Some people are generous with their time. Others are generous with their encouraging words. Still others are generous with their money.
Far too many people are less than generous. They seem focused on keeping instead of sharing. They live out of their scarcity instead of their abundance. Meanwhile, some people hardly ever, offer to pay for a friend’s coffee or lunch. In fact, they rarely offer to share in any expense. They will gladly receive someone else’s offer to pay but do not display the same spirit of generosity.
Suppose several families get together for pizza one night in someone’s home. Several plan to go to the grocery store after the meal to get the ingredients for a dessert that they are making that evening. Before these people leave for the store, several hand them cash to help cover the cost of the dessert. Generous people offer to help cover the cost. They want to participate and not just consume.
Generous people are not cheap. They don’t look for ways to avoid paying for something. Rather, they are eager to join in and participate.
This example involves money but there are often opportunities to be generous with time. Have you noticed that some people who are stingy with their time often leave the impression that they are busier than anyone else? Meanwhile, some who are generous with their time rarely call attention to their own schedules.
3. Learning. I love to be in the presence of people who continue to learn and take intentional steps to practice life-long learning.
During the holidays, I read a new biography on the life of Flannery O’Connor (written by Brad Gooch). As I read this wonderful book, I was struck not only by her commitment to write but also her commitment to learn. She read widely and deeply on a variety of subjects. She was interested in theology and philosophy but also birds and her peacocks in particular.
Meanwhile, some of the most boring people are those who long ago became bored themselves. Some people grow older and lose any desire to grow. Their bodies and minds are stuck in a recliner. They get sentimental about past years while they squander the time they have in the present.
Meanwhile, learners never lose their desire to grow and learn. They maintain a genuine curiosity about life.
Do you want to avoid losing your edge? Do you want to keep from being stagnant and stale?
These three qualities are not New Year’s resolutions. Rather, they reflect some of my values for life. As the new year and new decade begins, I want to consider again some of these values which are so important to me.
What about you? What values are important as you begin this new year?