Five Characteristics of a Quality Man

man_question_markHave you wondered if there are any quality, young, godly men left?  After all, it seems that the news is constantly reporting the horrible behavior of some man in the world. Then of course, you can talk to almost anyone and they can tell you a story about some man’s sorry behavior at work, his abuse of his own children, or his betrayal of a friend.

Let me assure you, I know some very fine young men.  Almost every day, I have the fortune to have a conversation in person, by phone, or text with a young man in Memphis or in another city in this country. Again and again I am impressed.  As I think about these guys (some of them have been in my mentoring groups and others I know as friends) here is what I see.

1.  They take Jesus seriously.  They aren’t simply trying to create an image of one who loves the Lord.  It is so obvious that they are serious about their own obedient relationship to Jesus as Lord.  Those who know them best describe them as the real deal.

2.  They invest in others for the sake of the Lord.  Yes, they value their friendships but it is much more than this.  They influence their friends for good.  Their friends often say, “I am a better man and closer to the Lord because of my friendship with him.”

Question: What Concerns You Most About Men Today?

This Sunday is Father’s Day.father-and-son.jpg

This is a time in which many men will be thinking about their own roles as fathers.

I am also thinking this week about what it means to be a man.

So let me raise this question: What concerns you most about men today?

For example, here are a few of my concerns:

1. Some men can not be counted on. They do not support their wives or their children. They avoid dealing with matters in their lives that really need their attention. They avoid, neglect, and dodge. Meanwhile, the various situations often just continue to deteriorate.

2. Some men say the right things but then seem to forget that reality is shaped not just by what they say but what they do. Some men talk but then rarely follow through.

3. Some men manipulate. They have learned how to get what they want but at any cost. They have gone through life manipulating women and men. Now, they manipulate their wives and children. For example, a man may want a new car. In fact, he might make the decision to buy that car. Yet, instead of just telling his wife this, he begins to manipulate her until she gives in. Then he tells everyone that they both thought this was best. “I found the car but she was the one who said, ‘Let’s get it!’ You know how she is when she makes up her mind.” Hmmm.

4. Some men recognize characteristics in their own fathers that they don’t want to repeat. However, some of these same men are so lacking in self-awareness that they continue to behave in other undesirable ways (often like their dads). For example, a man may say that he does not want to be self-absorbed like his dad even while he continues to impulsively spend money like his dad.

5. Some men have no passion for the things that matter most to Jesus. Consequently, a family may only see a man’s passion as it relates to his favorite football team, fishing, hunting, or some other interest. Meanwhile, this same man may almost yawn when opportunities surface that could make a real difference in someone’s life.

6. Some men are passive. They spend hour after hour sitting in their recliners watching television. They sit by passively and wait for their wives to take action with their children. They passively watch life go by not really investing in their marriages. They take no action and no initiative. Rather, they wait for someone else to make the first move. Do they ever show any passion? Sure. Just watch what happens when something gets in the way of being able to see the big game or their favorite program!

These are a few of my concerns. Yet, I could also tell you about some of the wonderful qualities of a number of men with whom I continue to be impressed. In fact, within the last few days, Charlotte and I have talked about several men (a variety of ages) who continue to impress us both. I think of men who take action, who want to make a real difference, and who stand up for their wives and children. I think of men who I know are trustworthy. They are loyal to their wives. I know men who have backbone and who will stand up for what is right. I could go on.

I am interested in hearing from you regarding this.


What concerns you as you observe some men?