Do You Have Time to Be Present?

BrodyTractor2Time is so strange.

How can you graduate from high school one year and then what seems like just a few years later be holding a grandchild?  Why do some days seem to last forever (especially when you are sick or a toddler is crying) and then entire years seem to breeze by?

The other day our grandson Brody was at our house.  He and I rode our riding lawnmower (without the blade) around and around our yard most every day.  He sat in my lap and “drove.”  Guess what?  I was in no hurry.

My phone was in the house.  My iPad was turned off.  My computer was in my briefcase.

The last thing I want Brody to remember is that I starred at a screen instead of being fully present with him.

Being fully present meant that I was with him and not thinking about a post, a tweet, a call or anyone else.

Being fully present meant that I wanted to be with him completely.  Yes, even at two and a half years old.

Being fully present meant that I wanted to live an unhurried life with him.

He is home now.  I look forward to seeing him again.  In the meantime, I want to remember that life is not about living in regret at what might have been.  Nor is life about constantly saying “If only.”

Life is about being fully present in the one life that I am living — to the honor of God.

 

Question

What are your greatest challenges to being fully present with others?

 

Monday Start: Resources for the Week

Start1Helpful

I find John Stackhouse to be helpful when thinking about tough issues.  Stackhouse has taught at Regent College for a number of years.  You can find a list of his books here, as well as some audio/video resources.

Healthy Self-Examination

Peter Scazzero has written a good post: “You Know You Need a Sabbath When

Church Health

See Margaret Marcuson’sNine Indicators of a Healthy Congregation.”  Margaret writes from a Systems perspective.  Her blog is very helpful and consistently has very good posts.

Storytelling

Check out this very nice colorful info graphic “Pixar’s 20 + Rules On Storytelling for Teachers and Students.”  Also see “5 Awesome Info graphics on English Language.”

Writing

An interesting post for anyone interested in writing.  “Why these famous authors write — and why you should.”

Rome and Latin America

Peggy Noonan has written a very fine article reflecting on the election of the new Pope.

What Went Viral

See “Apparently This Matters: Mississippi man’s obituary.”  You can find the obituary here. 

 

When You Realize You are Out of Control

outofcontrolOne night I was driving home from my job at UPS.  It was about midnight and was raining. I was in college and was driving my father’s car, which I rarely drove.  As I recall, my car was in the shop being repaired.  I was on Stemmons Expressway (I-35) and going much too fast considering the rain.  At one point, the car began to hydroplane on the water surface.  I remember wondering how I would stop.  The car began to do a 360 on the expressway.  I wondered if I was going to get hit from behind.  Finally after turning around completely, the car came to a stop. I then slowly began to drive ahead again.

I had been totally out of control.

Reynolds Price, novelist and longtime English professor at Duke, spoke at the 1992 Founder’s Day at Duke and challenged his audience with some observations regarding many students.

But you’ll find other sights that breed concern. . . . walk your attentive self through the quads.  Stand at a bus stop at noon rush-hour; roam the reading rooms of the libraries in the midst of term and the panic of exams.  Lastly, eat lunch in a dining hall and note the subjects of conversation and the words employed in student discussion.  (I’m speaking mostly of undergraduates, but not exclusively.) 

Try to conceal your consternation at what is often the main theme of discourse — something less interesting than sex and God, the topics of my time.  If for instance you can eat a whole meal in a moderately occupied Duke dining hall without transcribing a certain sentence at least once, I’ll treat you to the legal pain reliever of your choice.  The sentence runs more or less like this, in male or female voice – – “I can’t believe how drunk I was last night.” 

Considering that the social weekends of many students now begin – – indeed are licensed by us to begin – – at midday on Thursday and continue through the morning hours of Monday (as they never did in the old days of “country club” Duke), maybe the sentence is inevitable – – at least in the bankrupt America we’re conspiring to nurture so lovingly and toward which we blindly, or passively anyhow, wave our students.  

“I can’t believe how drunk I was last night.”

Totally out of control.

Monday Start: Resources for the Week

Start2Encouraging

I really liked this article from CNN.com, “United Airlines delays travel for man to see dying mother.”

Writing

Jonathan Mead has written a good and helpful  post on Jeff Goins’ blog, “Is This Writing Mistake Getting You Ignored by Everyone?

Prayer

Thom Rainer has really been transparent in this post.  See “When We Lie About Praying for Others: Seven Thoughts.”

Resource

Are you familiar with Religion-Online.org?  You might look at the articles available here.  A wide variety of perspectives.

Legalism

Scot McKnight reflects on “Legalism.”  I found this post to be very helpful.

 

Ministry Inside.110

quitHave you been tempted to quit?

Many of us have considered quitting at one time or another.  After all, serving in a ministry role can be very, very difficult.  In fact, there may be times that are so grueling you may wonder what you got yourself into.

Why would a minister and his family consider leaving a “full-time” ministry role?

1.  Relentless criticism from members of the congregation.  Many people in ministry roles understand that criticism comes with this work.  However, some criticism can be deeply hurtful and debilitating.  A minister may experience great pain and frustration when some in a congregation criticize his children or his spouse.  The same is true when criticism is aimed toward one’s personality or even his integrity.

2.  Disappointment that one experiences in a congregation.  Serving in a ministry role with a congregation often means that a person will become aware of some of the wonderful ways in which members quietly serve the Lord.  However, this can also mean that one is now exposed to some very nasty attitudes.  Perhaps this minister or elder even admired these people at one time.  Now, however, this church leader is witnessing another side of this church member.

3.  Financial stress.  Sometimes congregations do not provide adequate financial support to their ministers.  Consequently, some ministers and their families feel constant stress due to their financial situation.  Ministers may feel like they can not share this burden with their elder group or friends within the church lest their motives be misconstrued.  Consequently, these families bear this stress alone.  Yes, I know that some ministry families put themselves into debt due to unwise financial decisions and undisciplined spending.  However, some are simply trying to live on an income that is inadequate.

4.  Loneliness and isolation.  Some church leaders (ministers, elders, pastors, and many, many others) feel lonely and isolated.  They find that their friends really don’t understand the work they do or the pressures they are under.  Complicating this even more is the reality that some ministers often feel geographically isolated from their extended families due to their location.

 

Question:

What are some other reasons that might cause a church leader to consider leaving a particular ministry role?

Ministry Inside.110

quitHave you been tempted to quit?

Many of us have considered quitting at one time or another.  After all, serving in a ministry role can be very, very difficult.  In fact, there may be times that are so grueling you may wonder what you got yourself into.

Why would a minister and his family consider leaving a “full-time” ministry role?

1.  Relentless criticism from members of the congregation.  Many people in ministry roles understand that criticism comes with this work.  However, some criticism can be deeply hurtful and debilitating.  A minister may experience great pain and frustration when some in a congregation criticize his children or his spouse.  The same is true when criticism is aimed toward one’s personality or even his integrity.

2.  Disappointment that one experiences in a congregation.  Serving in a ministry role with a congregation often means that a person will become aware of some of the wonderful ways in which members quietly serve the Lord.  However, this can also mean that one is now exposed to some very nasty attitudes.  Perhaps this minister or elder even admired these people at one time.  Now, however, this church leader is witnessing another side of this church member.

3.  Financial stress.  Sometimes congregations do not provide adequate financial support to their ministers.  Consequently, some ministers and their families feel constant stress due to their financial situation.  Ministers may feel like they can not share this burden with their elder group or friends within the church lest their motives be misconstrued.  Consequently, these families bear this stress alone.  Yes, I know that some ministry families put themselves into debt due to unwise financial decisions and undisciplined spending.  However, some are simply trying to live on an income that is inadequate.

4.  Loneliness and isolation.  Some church leaders (ministers, elders, pastors, and many, many others) feel lonely and isolated.  They find that their friends really don’t understand the work they do or the pressures they are under.  Complicating this even more is the reality that some ministers often feel geographically isolated from their extended families due to their location.

 

Question:

What are some other reasons that might cause a church leader to consider leaving a particular ministry role?

Harding Seminar

HardingSince last Thursday, I have been teaching a Doctor of Ministry seminar at Harding School of Theology (Memphis).  The course is entitled “Connecting Preaching with the Congregation.”  I have been co-teaching this seminar with Chris Altrock, who preaches for the Highland Street Church of Christ in Memphis.  In this class are some wonderful students, all of whom serve in ministry roles in various congregations.

I have enjoyed being at Harding.  For many years, this school has offered excellent preparation for ministry.  This week, I have also gained a great appreciation for the encouraging atmosphere.  The faculty, staff, and students have been exceptionally helpful and accesible.

I have especially enjoyed teaching with and learning from, Chris Altrock. I encourage you to follow him on Twitter.  Also be sure to visit his website.  You may want to check out his book, Preaching to Pluralists or his book Prayers from the Pit.

Chris is a wonderful model for any preacher.  He is a person of high character who takes his own spiritual formation very seriously.  He is a good thinker and knows much about preaching and ministry.  He is also humble and unassuming.  Chris has a gracious manner that puts those around him at ease.  It has been a pleasure to teach this seminar with him.

 

 

Harding Seminar

HardingSince last Thursday, I have been teaching a Doctor of Ministry seminar at Harding School of Theology (Memphis).  The course is entitled “Connecting Preaching with the Congregation.”  I have been co-teaching this seminar with Chris Altrock, who preaches for the Highland Street Church of Christ in Memphis.  In this class are some wonderful students, all of whom serve in ministry roles in various congregations.

I have enjoyed being at Harding.  For many years, this school has offered excellent preparation for ministry.  This week, I have also gained a great appreciation for the encouraging atmosphere.  The faculty, staff, and students have been exceptionally helpful and accesible.

I have especially enjoyed teaching with and learning from, Chris Altrock. I encourage you to follow him on Twitter.  Also be sure to visit his website.  You may want to check out his book, Preaching to Pluralists or his book Prayers from the Pit.

Chris is a wonderful model for any preacher.  He is a person of high character who takes his own spiritual formation very seriously.  He is a good thinker and knows much about preaching and ministry.  He is also humble and unassuming.  Chris has a gracious manner that puts those around him at ease.  It has been a pleasure to teach this seminar with him.

 

 

Monday Start: Resources for the Week

start 1Great Questions for Self-Reflection

Peter Scazzero has written two good posts entitled “Leadership and Differienation.” (Part one here, part two here and part three here.)  This is a good example of a leader who wrestles with helpful reflective questions.  (Scazzero is the author of Emotionally Healthy Christianity.)

Wonderful Pictures!

The 30 Best Places to be if You Love Books.”  (Thanks to Rachel Held Evans.) 

Wisdom

John Willis, longtime Old Testament professor at Abilene Christian University (and one of my favorite teachers) has written a powerful post “Controlling Other People: This is a Heart Issue.”  He specifically addresses control issues of parents/grandparents, elders, and administrators.

Lost Child

This is a very sobering piece which appeared in Texas Monthly about a child who spent her first nine years in some extraordinarily difficult circumstances.  One encouraging theme in the story is the love and self-sacrifice later shown by foster parents.

Teaching

Howard Hendricks, longtime professor at Dallas Theological Seminary passed away last week. Hendricks taught at the seminary since 1952.  See this moving conversation between himself, Churck Swindoll, and several others regarding his life and ministry.

 

Ministry Inside.109

busy-bodies-need-massageWhen a minister is young, it is very tempting to rely on raw energy to carry one through the day.  You find that you can get up early in the morning, preach a funeral, do marriage counseling with a couple and then stay up late after a long elder’s meeting. Eventually, you may learn that such a lifestyle is not sustainable over the long term.

A minister (or any other church leader) can become drained and disillusioned. Such depletion is hazardous for any kind of long-term ministry.

Do you relate to any of the following three conditions?

1.  Some of us become consumed by our own busyness. We may finally realize that we are drained.

Many of us live with the nagging sense of the unfinished. There is always something to be remembered. Something to be done. Something to be said. With 24/7 accessibility (due to our communication devices), we may find that we are always doing something related to our work.  We often find it very difficult to be fully present. Yes, I am in a conversation but my phone is ringing, another text message has arrived, and e-mail is here.

Some time ago I heard a person say she was thankful she always ate fruit for breakfast because she didn’t have to sit down to eat. That may not mean much on the surface; however, her whole family lives a driven, pressure-filled lifestyle.

2.  Some of us become controlled by the urgent.

Life becomes moving from event to event. Some families rarely even eat meals together anymore.

Not only being occupied but also being preoccupied is highly encouraged in our society. The way in which newspaper, radio, and TV communicate their news to us creates an atmosphere of constant emergency. The excited voices of reporters, the preference for gruesome accidents, cruel crimes, and perverted behavior, in the hour to hour coverage of human misery at home and abroad slowly engulfs us with an all pervasive sense of impending doom.   On top of this bad news is the avalanche of advertisements. We live much like a logger who is doing poorly at cutting down the tree but was too busy to sharpen his ax.  (Henri Nouwen, Making All Things New)

3.  Some of us become bored and may even become disillusioned.

Perhaps you are very busy but wonder if what you are doing really makes any difference. You are busy with ministry, but wonder if it really counts. Do these things really matter?

Consequently, you may become bored and depressed.  This often occurs when the requirements of our work do not match our creative potential.  In other words, it seems that my work has lost its meaning.

Beneath all the accomplishments of our time, there is a deep amount of despair. While efficiency and control are the great aspirations of our society, the loneliness, isolation, lack of friendship and intimacy … and a deep sense of uselessness fills the hearts of millions of people in our success-oriented world.  (Henri Nouwen, Making All Things New)

 

Question: 

What is there about ministry that makes it particularly difficult to deal with one’s own busyness?