She was deeply troubled. She had been an alcoholic for many years. That night her eyes were bloodshot. I presumed she had been drinking. I approached her just before our worship service began. She said that she wanted to remain outside the auditorium in the hallway.
“I am not worthy.”
She was genuinely broken. I am not sure why she chose to come to the assembly that evening. I am not sure why she had a gun in her purse.
I do know she felt as if she was at the end of her rope.
There have been times when I have felt broken before God. Life felt hard and I felt desperate. There was no room for excuses, explaining away my life, etc. This was a time to be humble.
When you are at the end of your rope, you hold on to God.
When you are at the end of your rope, you deal with the biggest problem you will ever have – yourself.
When you are at the end of your rope, you receive the graciousness of others with humility. No humble person demands grace.
I remember that evening well. This young preacher saw a snapshot of desperation and perhaps the beginning of hope.