How to Build Trust With the People in Your Life

Trust is incredibly important in any relationship.trust1.jpg

In fact, it would be difficult to overemphasize its importance. If trust is high in a marriage, friendship, church, or business, the atmosphere that permeates those relationships is often one of peace, harmony, and mutual respect. Have you given thought about just how important it is to be intentional about building trust?

Trust is critical in a ministry and congregation. Yet, many ministers/elders underestimate the importance and value of trust building.

Of course, building trust is not just a work for ministers and elders but all Christian men and women. (Taking questions such as these seriously would have a profound impact on our children and grandchildren, not to mention our friends and co-workers.)

Trust is built in a number of ways in a marriage, friendship, church, or between co-workers:

  • Do you do what you say you are going to do?
  • Do you speak truth and can people depend on your word?
  • Do you behave in ways that are consistent with your commitment to Jesus? Or, are godly people surprised when they get up close to your life?
  • Do you desire to close the gap between others’ public perception of you and the private reality of your life?
  • Do you behave in a way that is honorable and right with the opposite sex?
  • Do you handle yourself with integrity in the “little” things? Do you tell the truth when you are purchasing amusement park tickets at Six Flags regarding the ages of your children? Do you tell the truth about the product you sell? Do you return what you have borrowed from your neighbors? Do you refuse to take advantage of the cashier at Wal-Mart when she gives you too much change back?
  • Do others have confidence in your judgment?

Let me suggest to you that there are a number of ways that, over time, you can increase the level of trust that others have in you.

1. Pay attention to your character. Trust from others increases as they see that you are the “real deal.” Over time, these people see that your life reflects the virtues of Christ. They can see your genuine intent to live a godly, virtuous, authentic life.

2. Pay attention to your relationships. Nothing destroys a relationship more quickly than self-centeredness and dishonesty. One way this occurs in some relationships is through manipulation. A manipulator cannot be trusted because she speaks words and uses people in order to get what she wants. You don’t have to go far to see the fallout of someone who has been burned by a manipulator.

3. Pay attention to your thinking. After all, one reason people trust another is because again and again he demonstrates good judgment. A person who lacks poor judgment will often make a snap, uninformed decision or will let his emotions take over in the heat of the moment.

I hope you find this helpful. These are three areas of my life that I pay close attention to.


Which one of these areas do you often find most challenging? What else would you add to this list of three?

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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3 thoughts on “How to Build Trust With the People in Your Life

  1. Paying attention to my character can be difficult. I am often tempted to just assume that my character is fine and move along to other things. Paying attention to what is rumbling in my soul, good or bad, takes time, quiet self-reflection, and perhaps most difficult of all…honesty with one’s self.

  2. Brian, well said! I suspect that one reason why our souls are sometimes neglected because it is, as you say so well, difficult. Thanks very much.