Of course you may say, like many, “This will never happen to me.”
Yet, there are ways that destructive seeds can be planted in one’s marriage.
1. Whisper words of criticism and insults in your spouse’s ear. Doing this will eventually destroy his or her confidence. If you whisper these words, then you can save face with your friends. After all, you know that if they were to hear what you just whispered in your partner’s ear they would think you were rude and childish. Consequently, you can quietly tear down your spouse while pretending you are supportive before friends and family.
2. Let your eyes wander toward another person of the opposite sex. If you are caught gazing at another, be sure to blame your spouse. “Well, what am I supposed to do? It’s nice to get some attention! Maybe if you would be a better husband (or wife), I wouldn’t find this person so attractive.”
3. Look for every opportunity to speak a rude, barbed word toward your spouse. You can always claim that you were just joking. Do you know someone like this? Perhaps this person uses every occasion to put down his wife. If she objects, then her husband says, “I was just joking.” The idea seems to be that if one claims to be joking, responsibility for any hurt can be denied.
Such behavior is beneath a Christ follower After all, marriage is for grown-ups. Furthermore, when married people are Christ followers, we follow an even higher standard.
Unfortunately, some people have spouses who refuse to grow up. The behavior of the immature spouse is not just a nuisance. This behavior can chip away at the marriage.
Does it make any sense to get married and then participate in the very destruction of your marriage? I don’t think so.
I think this is worth some thought – and prayer.