Jim Martin's Posts

1. Today, I can choose to stop trying to be the perfect parent. Instead, I can choose to respond to these children with the energy and wisdom that God provides.

2. Today, I can choose to stop wishing for the perfect Christmas. I don’t have to spend my energy being resentful of the Christmas that others seem to be experiencing. Instead, I can make the most of the Christmas that I do have with the people who I am with.

3. Today, I can choose to lower my expectations of what can be done or accomplished today. Instead, I can be kind to myself (and others) by doing what I can and accepting this. All of us have limitations. That is a part of being human.

4. Today, I can choose to not be curt and abrupt with others. Instead, I can be a bit kinder and more gracious to others who, like me, have been created in the image of God.

5. Today, I can choose to not focus on my situation, my problems and my trials. Instead, I can open my eyes to others around me who have heartaches and may also be in pain.

6. Today, I can choose not to be on edge and demanding. Instead, I can be a less anxious presence among my family and friends. After all, it is the comforting presence of God in my life that allows me to a less anxious self.

Today will last for 24 hours and then it is over. This day is a gift from the Father. I cannot control what others say or do. By the grace of God, however, I can control my response.

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Most of us who are parents have asked this at one time or another.

Last weekend I was in Waco, Tx. where we lived for 20 years. During those years, I served in a church. Yet, probably the most difficult job Charlotte and I had was raising children. Last weekend, I remembered numerous conversations that I had with people about raising children. Much of the time, younger people were asking me or Charlotte questions about their children. Often it was a question which went something like this, “What do I do?” Sometimes we were asking those older than us the same question, “What do I do? (I am grateful to Bob and Laura McGilvrey, Tom Catchings, Bill Petty, Roberta Robinson and others who were on the receiving end of some of those questions.)

A few suggestions:

1. A good parent is a learner. A good parent seeks out the wisdom of others. I would suggest seeking out the wisdom of those who have already been down that trail. Write down what they share with you. When others recommend a good book, website or resource person, write down the details.

2. A good parent looks for ways to deal with problems besides yelling and screaming. Yelling and screaming often results when parents just don’t know what to do. Yet, yelling is not taking action. It is not giving a child consequences. Often, yelling makes parents feel like they are taking action when so often they are just threatening.

3. A good parent hustles and searches for options. Read a parenting book! Talk to the school counselor. Ask for the advice of someone older who has already reared children. Find a helpful website. Relentlessly search for possible ways of handling the situation.

4. A good parent responds instead of reacts. Yes, I know this can be difficult. However, our reactions can often be impulsive and rash. (“You are grounded for the next 97 days! No television for a year!).

5. A good parent prays, prays, and prays. Parenting is more than prayer but it is at least that. It dawned on me one day when my children were small, if I am not praying for my children, who is?

Being a parent can be hard — very hard. Yet, you and I can do this by the grace of God, learning relentlessly, praying fervently, and surrounding ourselves with a few wise people to whom we will really listen.

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(I posted the following article on Facebook yesterday.  You might enjoy this.)

Many of you are preaching tomorrow. Know that God is at work in you. Pray that he might strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being. Know that in this power, you are doing a work that is beyond your own abilities and strength.

You will be preaching to a group of people who are deeply loved by the Father but who desperately need to hear his Word. Most of these people, regardless of how they might appear outwardly, are just trying to “keep it between the ditches.” They are trying to deal with life. Some are deeply fearful. Some are distracted by illness and family messes. Still others come to these assemblies feeling such a sense of failure. All – every single one of them (including their preacher) – desperately need the Lord.

What you are doing tomorrow is important. May God richly bless

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Perhaps you have been there.  Someone wants to talk with you about a problem.  This person is asking you for suggestions.  You silently pray to God that you might say the right thing.  You begin to speak.  However, the conversation does not go as you expected.  This person has a strenuous objection for most everything you say.

I was thinking about this recently and it occurred to me that there are certain roadblocks to our own progress and growth that just get in the way.

Roadblock #1 – My defensiveness and denial

“Nothing is wrong with me.  I don’t have a problem.  In fact, I am now angry with you for suggesting that I have a problem.”  My own defensiveness can actually get in the way of any progress at all.  Consequently, months go by without any real positive movement.

Roadblock #2 – My refusal to listen

“What do you mean I don’t listen!  Why my friends tell me that I am a very good listener!”  Such a person may put up a wall before you can even finish your sentence.  Meanwhile, someone who is really listening might choose instead to ask a clarifying question or two to take advantage of an opportunity for self awareness.

Roadblock #3 – My lack of self-awareness

This might be the person who loses friends, deeply offends co-workers, and alienates others but does not see a problem with his or her own behavior.  In fact, this person might lack self-awareness to the point that he honestly doesn’t see what he is doing to damage these relationships.  In his mind, the fault is to be found with everyone else.

Roadblock #4 – My refusal to get help

This might be the person who says he/she needs help and even asks for suggestions.  However, the person opposes every single suggestion offered.

“Why should I see a counselor?  I already know what a counselor is going to tell me.”

“Me, see an attorney?  Why would I do that?  I can handle this.”

“Why should I see a doctor?  That’s ridiculous!”  On and on it goes.

The question I really need to reflect on is, “How do I make progress as I grapple with this problem?”  No you shouldn’t listen to everybody, that will only lead to confusion.  However, if you seek out a few wise, godly people, especially those with experience in navigating some of life’s difficulties, you might want to at least listen – really listen – to that person.   And — before quickly saying “Of course I listen!,” you might ask the person to whom you are talking whether or not they feel like you have really listened.

Life is hard.  However, it can become even more difficult when we put up roadblocks to our own progress.


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Every morning, you and have the opportunity to jump start our day.  Yet, far too many people waste this opportunity.  The following are five practices that have been helpful to me.  I am not prescribing these to you.  Rather, I am simply describing what has been helpful to me.  Perhaps one or more of these might be helpful to you as well.

*Start the day with what feeds your soul.  It can tempting to immediately start checking my phone or computer.  Yet, I have that beginning the day with a cup of coffee next to my open Bible really makes a difference.  I read, with yellow highlighter in hand, ready to highlight words and phrase that are meaningful to me.

*Start the day with prayer.  I pray for the days events and the various people who I plan to interact with.  I pray for my wife, my children, and grandchildren.  I find that when I pray more, I tend to worry less.

*Start the day with mapping out the day.  I work with the daily pages in the Self Journal.  It doesn’t matter what kind of planner you use.  The main point is to be intentional about the day before you are suddenly in the middle of it.

*Start the day before morning.  In other words, start the night before.  If I know what I will wear the next day, that is very helpful.  If I have already gathered my things to take with me the next morning, that also is helpful.  In fact, whatever I can do to help me prepare the night can be incredibly helpful to jumpstarting the day.

*Start the day by choosing to be grateful.  Yes, it can be difficult when you are faced with tough challenges.  It can be tempting to be focused on the negative and to complain.  I have found that when I began complaining, things only seem more bleak and all I can see is what is wrong.  I have learned that no matter what, I can be grateful to God for something.  That often keeps me going.

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This morning as I drove to work, I thought about some of the blessings I have and how thankful to God I am for various people and places.

  1.  I am thankful for Charlotte (my wife), for Christine and her two boys, Brody and Lincoln.  I am thankful for Jamie and Cal and their little boy Sully.  To have three grandchildren is such a blessing!
  2. I am thankful for the years of preaching to congregations in Florence, Ala.; Kansas City, Mo.; and Waco, Tx.  To this day, there are people in these places who are some of our dearest friends.
  3. I am thankful for the privilege of serving at Harding School of Theology (Memphis).  This school has served students well for decades.  (Have you ever considered taking a course at a school like this?  You can do this in the privacy of your home or office through HST Live.  Contact Matt Carter – mrcarter@hst.edu)  I am also grateful for the wonderful people whom I have met and worked with at Harding University.
  4. I am thankful for the opportunity to grow.  I read books and articles.  I listen to audio books.  I regularly listen to podcasts and recordings of sermons and talks.  More than ever, I have a great hunger to grow.
  5. I am thankful for churches who invited me to speak and teach.  I have been with some wonderful groups of people this past year.  I am honored to be invited.  In particular, I am grateful for the Millington Church of Christ where I have been preaching once a month for over two years.
  6. I am thankful for the ministers who I talk with across the country.  I regularly talk with ministers over coffee, on the phone, or by way of Zoom.  These conversations often bless me more than them.  I am thankful to know such g00d people.
  7. I am thankful for unexpected moments of encouragement.  The unexpected phone call or note.  The unexpected conversation.  These moments are often great times of joy and satisfaction.
  8. I am thankful for good, sweet people who spend their lives doing good.  These are people who often need little maintenance themselves and who bless others through giving their time and resources.  At the moment, I have in mind some of the donors who invest in the students at Harding School of Theology.
  9. I am thankful for God’s help in navigating through life’s messiness.  Sometimes, life is just hard.  People can disappoint and even hurt.  Nevertheless, God is faithful.
  10. I am thankful, most of all, for God’s goodness, love, and holiness.  When I ponder these aspects of God, I quickly realize that he is much larger than my problems or my concerns.
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This afternoon, I read a portion of Jon Gordon’s book, The Power of Positive Leadership.  (A friend had recommended this and I was eager to read something that would be motivating.)  I love this particular section (p. 51):

Dr. James Gills accomplished the remarkable feat of completing a double triathlon (two triathlons back to back with only a 24-hour break.)  Even more remarkable is that Gills completed a double triathlon six times, and the last time he did it was 59 years old.  When asked how he did it, he gave the best advice I’ve ever heard.  He said, “I’ve learned to talk to myself instead of listen to myself.” He memorized scripture and would recite it to himself when he needed a boost.  Gills continued, “If I listen to myself, I hear all the reasons why I should give up.  I hear that I’m too tired, too old, too weak to make it.  But if I talk to myself, I can give myself the encouragement and words I need to hear to keep running and finish the race.”

Far too many of us (including church leaders) seem to be almost obsessed with listening to the negative, fear-based, anxiety rooted messages that are within us.  We listen to ourselves and we hear hopelessness, futility, and reasons to give up.  We just don’t have enough of this or that.  Of course, we then talk to our spouses, fellow church leaders, colleagues, etc.  and our anxiety spreads like a highly contagious disease.

Perhaps it would be more helpful to focus on talking to ourselves.  For example, I could ask the following:

  1.  How does God’s presence, power, and love impact this situation?
  2.  How would I behave in this situation if I really trusted in God?
  3.  How might the most Godly people in my life handle this situation?
  4.  How might Godly people whom I have admired through history have handled this situation
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The following are some of the podcasts I listen to on a regular basis.  Including these does not mean that I literally listen to each new podcast under each title below. (I don’t.)  I might look at the subject matter of a particular podcast on a given day and decide that it just doesn’t interest me enough to invest the time.  I am simply listing these as a sample of podcasts that I listen to somewhat regularly.

(I did not include sermons, speeches, etc.  I did not include podcasts from individual congregations.  Nor did I include podcasts that I only occasionally or rarely listen to.)  Maybe one or more of these will interest you.

Akimbo (Seth Godin)

CBS This Morning

How I Built This (Guy Raz)

How I Work (From Australia)

Kingdom Roots (Scot McKnight)

Life and Faith (From Australia)

Things Above (James Bryan Smith)

Aspen Ideas to Go (A variety of topics.  Often interviews.)

Revisionist History (Malcolm Gladwell)

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In the last week, I have read or listened to several resources that may interest you.  Of course, I am listing these because in some way each had some value for me.

Are You a Procrastinator?  This Simple 5 Minute Trick Will Completely Change Your Life.  (The title is quite a promise.  Nevertheless, I did find this very helpful.)  From INC magazine.

Just listened to a podcast featuring Harvard Business professor, Francesca Gino.  Why It Pays to Break the Rules in Life, Work & Leadership.  Very thoughtful interview.  Made me think.

This weekend, I re-read two chapters from Trevor Hudson’s book (1996) Christ-Following: Ten Signposts to Spirituality.  Hudson is an excellent writer who has blessed me greatly.  If you are not acquainted with his works, you are in for a treat.

Finally, I read a very sobering interview from the Guardian about the relationship between Apple founder Steve Jobs and his daughter, Lisa Brennen-Jobs.  The article is entitled, “The daughter Steve Jobs denied: “Clearly I was not compelling enough for my father.”

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Life is hard.  Sometimes, it is really hard.

Isn’t it great, however, to have friends, family, church members, and others who will come along side you and help!  I am thinking of one Texas friend who I loved being with.  We often ate lunch together.  We would talk to one another about our lives including family, work, and church.  When times were hard for my friend, he would typically say at some point, “But the good new is . . .”

He was always looking for something good within the context of any mess.  He had a way of always looking for evidence of God’s grace.  He was not in denial.  In fact, he would admit pain and difficulty.

I found that when I was with him, I typically came away refreshed and energized, regardless of the topic of conversation.  Other friends also energized me as they communicated their love, care, or just a sense that we were in this together.

Then there are others.

There are other people who can drain you dry in a matter of minutes.  This may be a family member, a friend, a church member or even a church leader.  This person may talk with you about a problem but there seems to be nothing life-giving about the conversation.  In fact, such conversations can suck the life out of you.  This person may speak with such certainty about you ought to be doing with the situation at church, in your family, etc.  However, there is no sense in the conversation that this person is with you or alongside you.  They may leave the conversation with you feeling burdened or heavy.

Such conversations sometimes go like this (about most any topic):

  1. “I see a mess.”
  2. “I certainly know what needs to be done.”
  3. “You (looking at me) are the one to fix this.”
  4. “Goodbye.”

As I write this post, these thoughts make me want to consider the impact I have on others in conversations.  I don’t want to leave someone’s presence with them feeling even more burdened and troubled than before the conversation.

Lord, may the life of Jesus be present and displayed in me as I deal with others throughout the day.  May my actions and words be life giving and not draining.  When others are in my presence, may I make a positive difference in their day.

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