41 Things Married People Ought to Know (Part 4 of 4)

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30.  If a couple is at war, most any issue can become a point of contention.  If a couple is pursuing peace and togetherness, they can work through most any issue.

 

31.  A couple can bless one another by creating a home atmosphere that is pleasant, inviting, and warm.  They will look forward to going home to one another after a long day at work.

 

32.  A husband or wife with a demanding spirit will often push their spouse farther away.  Regardless of the legitimacy of the issue, a demanding person feels threatening.

 

33.  I know it sounds almost simplistic, but—it is very important that we learn to look for the good in one another.  Too many of us get overly focused on the negative and the shortcomings we see in each other.

 

34.  Am I an enjoyable person to be around?  I can really add something to the environment of my home by being pleasant and enjoyable.  When I am negative, pessimistic, and constantly griping, I am like a gray, dark cloud casting a shadow over the day.

 

35.  Being hard on one another may produce the desired external behavior–for a time.  But it usually creates deep resentment and anger.  Most of all, it doesn’t produce internal change.

 

36.  Most of us would do well to think before we speak.  There is no real merit in allowing every fleeting thought to come out of our mouths.  (Please don’t say, "I was just being honest."  Honest words still need discernment). We need to pray for wisdom regrading what we say.  We can say hurtful things to one another which may have a lingering effect for a long time.

 

37.  Every human being who is married is married to a sinner.  This person can never meet the deepest needs of his or her spouse.  Only God is capable of bringing ultimate completeness to my life.

 

38.  Christ-followers find ultimate happiness in God above all else.  Some people place incredible pressure on their marriage by trying to find happiness in that relationship.  It only adds to to the stress of life.

 

39.  Individual daily repentance will ultimately bless marriage.  There is something good about getting honest before the Lord every day.  A husband or wife would do well to examine how he behaved with his wife the previous day.  Ask God’s forgiveness for an attitude, behavior, or words which were not Christ-like. 

 

40.  Remember that you are married to God’s daughter or God’s son.  You know how you feel when someone mistreats one of your children.  You also know how you feel when someone has been a blessing to your son or daughter.  Think about how God might feel as he sees how you treat his daughter or son.  God knows the intent of our hearts.  What does he see?  (Thanks to Gary Thomas for some of these thoughts).

 

41.  Every good moment you experience in your married life needs to be received as a gift from God.  Don’t act like you deserve these moments!  Don’t think you are entitled.  Christ-followers understand that we are totally dependent on God’s grace.  It is out of that grace that we have air, food, and yes, the good moments of marriage.

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10 thoughts on “41 Things Married People Ought to Know (Part 4 of 4)

  1. That’s such a great list, Jim. If you don’t mind, I’d like to share that with three girls I meet with who are getting married this year. (I’m a pastor’s wife 🙂

    I just posted something that pertained to your #31, so it was timely that I stumbled upon your blog.

    Love that picture–it reminds me of the camel we saw in Petra, Jordan last year who was downing a can of Pepsi. 🙂

  2. Shannon,

    Thanks for your kind words. I certainly don’t mind if you share these with anyone. I honored and encouraged that you would be interested in doing that with these.

  3. thanks, Jim for these 41 Things… I copied and pasted each of the four parts into MSWord noting your authorship and if it’s OK with you will use them on occasion. In fact, i have two weddings coming up this summer and i intend to create a nice hand out using your thoughts as they address that various points raised in premarital again if I can have your permission to do so.
    Thanks again, Dan

  4. thanks, Jim for these 41 Things… I copied and pasted each of the four parts into MSWord noting your authorship and if it’s OK with you will use them on occasion. In fact, i have two weddings coming up this summer and i intend to create a nice hand out using your thoughts as they address that various points raised in premarital again if I can have your permission to do so.
    Thanks again, Dan

  5. Jim,

    Really appreciated this series. It took new significance this week when a co-worked confided that each of the 5 people on his team are experiencing significant difficulties in their marriages — 5 out of 5!

    I’ve pointed him to your list.

    Russ

  6. My husband and I have been married just over 2 years, and everyone who said marriage is sometimes difficult sure was right.  This list was just what I needed to read this morning.  I truly believe that self-centeredness is at the root of what I am struggling with.  Thank you.