Which one of the statements can you best relate to?
The following is part 3 of a series that I have entitled, “41 Things Married People Ought to Know.” (You can find part one here and part 2 here.) Most of these are lessons learned from being married and from observing others. I suspect you could add several to this list. Please consider leaving a comment with the statement you would add to these.
21. Marriage can be very satisfying and joyful. Believe it or not, many couples experience great pleasure in their marriages. There is great pleasure to be found in marriage through friendship, emotional connection, emotional intimacy and sexual joy.
22. Marriage is hard work. Marriage takes effort and requires one to be intentional. As married people, we depend upon the Lord for strength and perseverance through years of marriage. A very frustrated married person once asked me, “If this is right, why is it so hard?” Yet, simply because something is right does not mean that it will be easy. Jesus did the right thing and was led to the cross.
23. Marriage may sometimes be boring. Yes, the boredom needs to be addressed but its existence doesn’t always mean that you are in a crisis. Nor, does this mean that marriage is going to feel this way forever. The good news is that boredom is not fatal.
24. Beware of violating the privacy of your marriage by quoting your spouse (when you are away from him or her) in settings which would deeply hurt him or her if what you said became known. It is one thing to talk about your marriage with someone (a marriage and family therapist, minister, counselor, etc) who is trying to help you. It is quite another matter to reveal her words to the guys at work or your friends at Starbucks.
25. Dishonesty hurts a marriage. Husbands and wives must not rationalize the seemingly small dishonest moments. Far too many spouses practice dishonesty regarding money and spending. (For example, hiding the fact that you just spent hundreds of dollars on golf clubs or clothing.) Rationalizing these moments can pave the way for much bigger deceit.
26. Most affairs begin as friendships. Don’t think that saying “we are just friends” is going to cure the anxiety of an concerned spouse. This is expecially true when her intuitive warning alarm is already sounding.
27. Its not about you. Far too often our self centeredness takes over and begins to possess the marriage. When this happens, the “we” in the relationship may be ignored while one person focuses on the “me.”
28. Physical nakedness is one of the great joys of marriage. What can be frightening, however, is emotional nakedness. We make ourselves vulnerable before one another. Married people need to be very careful that they do not hurt their mates where they are vulnerable.
29. Have a vision of creating a marriage/family that is an island of health in a very dysfunctional, self-centered world. Such a vision will need great great help from the Lord if this is to become a reality.
30. Married people should cherish one another. You can tell when someone cherishes a television, a rod and reel, jewelry, etc. It is all in the way the person handles these things. Many us of may be underestimating the importance of cherishing our spouses.
Which one of these statements (above) can you best relate to? What would you add to this list?