1. Put some energy and intentionality into this marriage! Some people put more energy into creating their college basketball tournament bracket each year than they do their marriage. Being passive, while sitting in your emotional recliner, will bring a slow death to a marriage that could have been so much more. Think of what you might have missed!
2. Stop giving all of your attention to your children while you totally neglect your spouse. This is a dead-end street. Are you married? One of the most precious gifts that you can give your children is a front row seat to witness their mom and dad cherishing one another. As a Christian married man, there may be nothing I can do for my children that is more important than for them to see me love their mother.
3. Quit talking to one another with contempt. When you call her vile and degrading names, you are sending a strong message. When you rip him apart with degrading language, you are sending a strong message. Conversation with contempt intends to punish and hurt. Do you really think this brings God pleasure when he hears you talk to your bride or groom this way? Or, do you think it breaks his heart?
4. Pray that you will begin to cherish her/him. Then, put this into action. Do something that in some way communicates that you cherish your spouse. After all, God cherishes each one of us in spite of our sin. God cherishes you in spite of your failures. God certainly cherishes the one you married. At the end of the day, I know that God wants me to treat her right. In fact, God wants me to cherish the precious gift that he has given me.
5. Focus on yourself, not her or him. You can only manage yourself, not him or her. Far too many married people are waiting on their spouse to get it together. It is far more productive to focus on you being the kind of person that you would like to be married to. You can not fix him/her. You can’t make him/her better. However, you can become the husband or wife you need to be. The bottom line is, “Am I bringing God pleasure and satisfaction in the way I am behaving as a married person?”